Why I Failed at #reverb10

Maybe "fail" is too strong of a word. Maybe "chose not to continue participating" is more accurate.

When December began, I had great intentions of spending the month putting my thoughts in order so I could form a plan of attack for the future. Newly unemployed, only my final papers and one final exam stood between me and a quiet, thoughtful mind. That meant the #reverb10 challenge of "reflect and manifest" was perfect for me. Thinking back and planning to move forward, just how I intended to spend my entire month of December.

Except, that didn't happen. Between the holidays and my last exam dragging out to the 20th, it looks more like January will be my time to start manifesting. To be honest, I'm a bit tired of looking back. I've learned a lot from the past and I don't intend to forget those lessons, but I'm ready for action.

So I'm officially letting myself off the #reverb10 hook. I think a lot of people were blessed by it. Some of the prompts were great and I have given them off-blog attention.

In the next few days, I'll set some goals for next year and choose my official word for 2011. Such a funny looking number, 2011. But I've decided to embrace it and make it my year. I'm ready!

How I Measure Christmas Success

Today is December 26th, safely the day AFTER Christmas. Looking back (all the way to yesterday), I thought I'd weigh the pros and cons to see if Christmas was a success.

What unit of measurement did I choose? Dollars spent? Cards mailed? Smiles on gift recipients? Laughs shared?

No. The best measurement of Christmas success is dependent on only one thing:

That damn song about the shoes. You know the one. I've mentioned it before.

And no, I didn't hear it. I was afraid the few times I went into stores where I was at the mercy of their mood music but they spared me the horror. I didn't even hear it on the radio.

So by my standards, Christmas was a huge success. Yay!

Six Word Saturday

Remembering the lonely on December 25th

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus or just plain Saturday and whether you're separated by distance, disagreement, or death, I'm remembering those of us who aren't in the middle of a densely populated circle of love today. If someone or something is missing, my thoughts are with you.

Bonus Six Words (hey, tis the season for giving!):

Merry Christmas to you and yours

---

Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Christmas Cards

I don't send a lot of Christmas cards. Because, like a lot of things Christmas-related, they've turned from a warm fuzzy thing into general suck and obligation. Rather than sincerely expressing an interest in wishing those near and far a wonderful holiday and awesome next year, they're more about "my family did ALL these amazing things!" or "my life totally sucks, wah wah, feel bad for enjoying your good life" or "look how cute my kids are!".

Okay, a bit of a generalization but look who owns this here blog. Uh huh. Me. So I can generalize if I want when it suits my purposes.

Anyways, I don't send a lot of cards. I try to send some email greetings. Or I deliberately drop individual notes on Facebook walls throughout the month. But cards only go in the mail to family, old people, people without computers (some overlap there for sure), and a very few select friends. In other words, if you get a card in the mail from me? You're one of a lucky dozen. And it totally means you owe me money and this is a gentle reminder something.

And now, my annual holiday card delivered to you via blog. It's about saving the planet. Or laziness. Or not having your address.

So from my home to yours...





Doesn't get much more sincere than that!

P.S. Despite my bah-humbugness regarding sending cards, I do actually really love to receive them. Most of them. The ones from people who are sincere. And I know who you are.

P.P.S. So as not to be grinchy, the pretty snowflakes are from here.

Celebration: Doing it Wrong

Remember how when I resigned from my job I celebrated by enduring my annual gynecologist exam? This is like that. Only worse.

Yesterday, I took my final final. I freaked out twice before it started. Once because my ever-so-helpful GPS takes ten years to acquire satellites. Maybe quit trying to negotiate acquisition and just borrow them for positioning, okay? Because I was only going about 6 miles away, it never DID figure out where the hell I was until I was already there. And until I had already called Joe completely spazzed out that maybe I was going the wrong way and why hadn't I bothered to check the directions before I left because I thought it was safe to rely on the GPS YOU bought me so really it's all your fault if I miss my exam and fail and die. All this over a 6 mile trip that involved exactly 3 turns.

Freakout #2 occurred once I arrived successfully at the testing center. My exam was open book, open notes. This handy information was written all over the syllabus and course instructions. I even verified it with the exam proctor last Wednesday. So imagine my complete meltdown surprise when she told me that I wasn't allowed to have anything but a pencil in the testing room! Wait, umm, what? She showed me where it said exactly that. I insisted she go back to her desk and check because I had verified with her on Wednesday. She said she'd call the school. Brilliant, since it was 9am at my undisclosed east coast location and only 6am at my California-based university. In the five minutes it took her to find the cover sheet indicating that indeed my study materials were allowed, I was already figuring out how to deal with failure.

The exam itself wasn't too bad, though it was hella-long. There were 16 questions. 17 if you count the fact that there were 2 completely different questions that the genius professor numbered as 15. Each was an essay, usually with multiple parts. The final question had 10 parts to it! I finished and probably did just fine but I hate feeling so rushed.

The rest of the day was fine. I did some final online shopping for Joe. Invoiced a client. Watched a marathon of something on HGTV. Enjoyed a lovely celebration dinner cooked by my husband, read a book, and went to bed.

It was in bed that I had the worst panic attack I've experienced in approximately a year. I've had attacks that seemed horrible but this was completely back in the old territory. Immediate freakout with no clear trigger. Stomach in knots. Cold sweat. Shallow breathing. All of the intense physical reaction that comes over my body over the span of 30 seconds. The longest and shortest 30 seconds ever, as I feel what's happening and I try to fight it but it can't be stopped. Joe brought me a chill pill and I eventually settled down.

I'm fine this morning. In fact, I'm going shopping at a busy plaza as soon as I hit post. The type of shopping plaza that makes me uncomfortable with crowds and traffic and craziness. The kind that brings on anxious feelings. But today is the 21st and the crowds won't decrease between now and Saturday so it must be done.

So off I go, fingers crossed that last night was an anomaly. Terrified that it wasn't. Determined to keep going.

P.S. No idea when I'll have an actual grade on that exam or receive my actual program completion. And in the calmness of this morning, it's easier to recognize what I've achieved. And easier to be so glad that school is over!

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Ho ho ho Are You Ready?

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Freshman Flashback

I remember well my first semester of college. Specifically, that first Christmas. It was a major change from how I had experienced Christmas in the past.

As a member of our high school's very own glee club (minus the talent, apparently, to barf up killer choreographed performances at a moment's notice) and the church choir, we began practicing our holiday tunes in September. By December, I was pretty much over it. I always looked forward to the Advent season at church though, as we lit candles in the Advent wreath and listened to stories of how the world prepared for the coming of the Savior.

Then, college. After having church crammed down my throat for all of my early years, I did what most college students do - I didn't attend a single church service all semester. Our school had no music program so I wasn't buried in holiday rehearsals. All focus was on completing the semester and passing final exams.

Suddenly, it was mid-December and I hadn't given Christmas any thought but BAM there it was! It was hard to shift gears and find my Christmas spirit on such short notice.

That's the freshman flashback I'm having this year. Buried in classes that mostly ended ten days ago but still dealing with a straggler - my self-paced PR class still has an outstanding final that won't be complete until next Monday. Add to that so much work-related drama, and suddenly it's December 17th and I'm staring down serious gift-buying deadlines.

For extra fun, I'm disenchanted by the commercialism of the holiday and the greediness of my family as gift recipients. I'm completely uninspired to buy gifts for them. I'm also at an interesting place regarding my personal beliefs about religion so that skews the season a bit as well.

Any advice for how to find a little Christmas cheer when you're just not feeling it? Because I need to seriously find mine ASAP, otherwise it will be too late.

Esteem

Earlier this morning, chatting while watching last night's episode of The Sing-Off...

me: why are panels of judges always 'esteemed'?
SomeMonkey: bc it's a vague term and "talented" and "successful" are not

Ahh, good point. Though, I expect nothing less from SomeMonkey.

I think it would be more entertaining if panels of judges were steamed instead. Sitting out there at their table with product-placement soft drinks (spiked during the commercial breaks), completely aggravated and hating life. Hmm, now that I think about it, that's not so far off probably.

And, a bit o' #reverb10:

Day #10 Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? - Susannah Conway (@photobird)

Without a doubt, the wisest decision I made this year was to start making myself a priority. Blah blah again about resigning from my job but the first step was deciding to go back to school. I took a really aggressive approach and it's almost done now but even when I was stressed or feeling overwhelmed, I loved it. It felt amazing to be in a focused learning frame of mind for the past few months.

Now, to figure out how to sustain that into the new year.

Catching Up

I was supposed to be catching up on some of these #reverb10 posts. Except then I remembered how fun it was to just write a post without any prompts. It feels wild and free. Kinda crazy and reckless.

And then I realized that I have some pretty serious issues if that's my idea of living on the edge.

Here's edgy for you - Christmas shopping? Not so much. Yeah, today is the 13th and I still have barely touched my Christmas shopping. Gramma, niece, and nephew are done. Parents, bro, SIL, sis, BIL, husband? Nope. I should probably think about doing that.

I suppose I'll also think about those #reverb10 prompts.

Day #7 Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? - Cali Harris (@caligater)

One place I've definitely discovered community is here, and on Twitter. You've all been a tremendous support to me. And this is the part where I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over with these prompts. Could I thank you or write about leaving my job just ONE MORE TIME?!?!? Ugh, I bore myself.

Anyways, I've started referring to my Twitter pals as "Twitches". This confused Joe until I explained that's just a shortened, more polite form of "Twitter Bitches". Yeah, you're welcome.

I can't answer about 2011 because that's another post for another blog on another day - but I do have plans.

Day #8 Prompt: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful. - Karen Walrond (@chookooloonks)

I think I'm different in many ways, though it's sometimes hard to see them as beautiful differences. Because I grew up in such a sheltered environment, I try to look at the world with a sense of openness. One of my favorite things to say is that "different doesn't automatically mean wrong" - and as much as I like to apply that to different cultures, religions, and daily practices (like driving on the left-hand side of the road), I suppose it also applies to the idea of "Beautifully Different" - different doesn't automatically mean wrong. We should all work to remember that.

Day #9 Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. - Shauna Reid (@shauna)

I'm not a very social person. Large crowds tend to make me uncomfortable. Therefore, I suppose I didn't do much partying this year. Probably this is one of those areas I should manifest for next year.

Also, coming soon, I'll be manifesting some better blog posts. Because these aren't doing much for me, which means I'm sure they're not doing much for you. Final final on Thursday - almost there!

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Too tired to count to six

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Almost Done!

I'll return to the regularly ignored scheduled #reverb10 prompts sonish, but for now, a little update on me. Because it's my blog. Were you expecting an update on someone else? Sorry to disappoint. Go read their blog then.

Monday and Tuesday, I handed in all of my final papers for the semester. And despite losing big points on two of them for things that I think are completely ridiculous, I ended all three Fall courses with an A. Go me!

That's not a brag. I hope it doesn't come off braggy. That's more of a - you all listened to me whine but it's because I was working seriously hard and look it paid off! So really, it's more of a thank you. Yeah, that's it.

All that stands between me and program completion right now is my self-paced PR course. I should've had it done months ago but it took a backseat to the crazyfest that has been my life since August. I'll be mailing my final project for that course early next week and then next Thursday morning I sit for the proctored exam. Which sounds a lot dirtier than it is. I think I confuse proctor with prostate but I don't have one of those so it's all good.

It felt good to scribble out an actual blog post just now, as opposed to a response to some prompt that I'm feeling or not feeling. I think my recent commitment to daily prompt thingys is just a carry-over from the whole structured assignment feeling of classes. I much prefer this sorta thing. Look for more of it!

In other news, 15 days until Christmas and I'm completely NOT done with anything for anyone. Except the niece and nephew because I bought them ridiculously adorable hats from C. Beth, who not only blogs but also runs and crochets. But probably not all at the same time. Unless she's way more talented than I realized, and considering I already think she's pretty talented, that would just be somehow unfair to the rest of us.

Have a lovely Friday, folks! And stay warm. Because I don't know about weather where you are but Tonya is freezing off her whiskers to the point of desperation. Aka sleeping on the bed with me at night.

Make

Day #6 Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? - Gretchen Rubin (@gretchenrubin)

I'd like to "make" something creative now that classes are almost done. The most creative thing I've made recently was dinner for Joe on Saturday night, but that was Gordon Ramsay's recipe (no, I didn't swear or call Joe a donkey).

I'm ready to "make" some stories and do some writing soon.

Let Go

Day #5 Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? - Alice Bradley (@finslippy)

This year, I let go of putting myself last. Instead, I grabbed onto the idea of making my own decisions, perhaps consulting others for input, and then making my own choice.

It's why I went back to school. It's why I pushed to work part-time. It's why I ultimately walked from my job. I always thought that being married to an over-achiever meant he should come first and I should support him. I had to let go of the idea that what was best for us was for me to be employed and making money in an environment that was making me miserable. And I had to let go of the idea that he wouldn't support me.

I let go of thinking I'll never be happy and started actively looking for myself again. And next year, I really hope I find me.

Wonder

Day #4 Prompt: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? - Jeff Davis (@JeffreyDavis108)

Growing up in a small rural town with over-protective parents who believed the world outside was evil, I grew up missing out on a lot of experiences my friends had.

As a result, my travel-obsessed husband (then boyfriend) loved taking me to new places so he could watch my sense of wonder. Even today, the situation most guaranteed to induce wonder for me is traveling to somewhere new and spectacular.

I try to take a moment whenever I'm experiencing something new to think about what is happening and appreciate it fully. However, extra moments have been in short supply this year. The best thing I can do to cultivate a sense of wonder is to slow down and be fully aware of the circumstances around me. The holidays are a nice time for that and I'm looking forward to it.

Moment

Day #3 Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). - Ali Edwards (@aliedwards)

Yes, I'm a few days behind. Yay finals!

The date: November 29, 2010.

I threw my bag over my shoulder and took one last look before heading to the elevator. Down it crept, so slowly. Around the corner and heading for the exit, I imagine it's how a runner feels at the end of the marathon when they see the finish line. Finally! A huge smile across my face and I felt lighter than I had in many years. It was all I could do not to skip across the parking lot.

As I drove away, I didn't look back. No last glance in the rear view mirror. Just looking forward, eyes on the road ahead, both literally and figuratively.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Holidays?  Not until finals are submitted.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Writing

Prompt: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing -- and can you eliminate it?

The first answers that came to mind were activities like television (which has already cut way back), my job (resigned already), and my classwork (no, can't eliminate that until next week). But then I realized that those things don't really keep me from writing.

The number one thing I do that doesn't contribute to my writing is the self-doubt. It's not good enough. It's not creative enough. Who am I to think I can write anything worth reading? And, of course, the self-doubt reaches far beyond just writing.

Can I eliminate it? I'm trying. I'm even making progress. Whether or not I can conquer it completely remains to be seen.

Words

Prompt: One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you're choosing that word. Now, imagine it's one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

This is a great prompt for kicking off #reverb10. Especially since I started picking a Word of the Year in 2009. My word for 2010 was:

Here's what I wrote at the time:

...(2009) was about surviving. It was about learning to handle myself and the world but I did a lot of that from the semi-comfort of a safe routine. This year will be about not just muddling through but also about making an "effort" to move in a direction that makes me happy. I actually considered "happy" and "change" as my words but felt "effort" could be applied in a more widespread manner.

I'm planning to make an effort in my health, my career, my writing, my reading, my relationships, my self-image, really my entire life. Some steps will be bigger than others - I can't do it all at once. But it's important that I realize I have to make an "effort" if I don't want to keep on as things are currently heading.

I made some great efforts - in a week, I'll be completing a graduate marketing program that wasn't even on my radar when the year began. That plus resigning from my job definitely mean change for my career. I did a lot of reading and writing. I also made nice progress regarding inner peace, even if I didn't solve my self-image issues. There were areas where I fell short, specifically regarding my health. But that's on my list now.

Next year's word? I'm not 100% sure yet. I always have to try a word on to see if it's going to fit. Right now, I'm thinking better. I'm tired of trying to achieve some definition of perfection that's completely bogus anyways. If I can just do better, be better, workout better, write better, love better, work better, play better, 2011 could be one for the record books.

The End

November 30th and I am thankful for... my NaBloPoMo of gratitude.

This month has been representative of my entire year - ending up in a very different place than I had pictured when I started. At the beginning of the month, I was struggling to juggle classes with a part-time work schedule that refused to honor it's part-time agreement. I was depressed, anxious, frustrated. There were times when my NaBloPoMo of Gratitude seemed like a completely ridiculous idea. Now, I find myself home, unemployed by choice, concentrating full-time on my classes for the next week until finals are over. Then I'll finish up that last self-paced course and be done.

I have no idea what's next, in my life and therefor in my blog. There are so many options that I'm not quite sure where to start. But I'm excited. Also still a bit anxious. But no longer depressed or frustrated.

I'm considering participation in another month-long blog project, #reverb10. "Reflect on this year and manifest what's next". December will be spent doing exactly that, whether or not I formally participate in that project.

I want to say thank you to all of you who help hold me together, encouraging me, supporting me, distracting me... A special thank you to T for being a great inspiration to me and introducing me to a new way of approaching life that's brought me much peace and hope.

So even though things are far from where they started 30 days ago, I'm grateful for my husband, my friends, and my future.

Destination: Resignation Achieved!

I'm thankful for... walking out of the office this morning, officially done.

Afterwards, I celebrated with a trip to the gynecologist for my annual exam, including checking on a lump I thought I had found. Turns out, no lump to worry about. And even though they had no record of my appointment, the doctor fit me in. Good thing - I didn't want to go home with my nicely shaved legs and nothing to show for them!

Next, I'm back to my classwork. Right after a victory lap nap!

Chillin'

I'm thankful for... this opportunity to take a bit of a break from classwork before throwing myself into finals.

My final projects are due beginning next Saturday and I've barely started them at this point. But because my last day at work is Monday, and just for a couple of hours, I feel good about the time I have available. Giving myself a break for a few days was exactly what I think I needed to be ready to dive in for that final push.

I plan to finish up NaBloPoMo but then expect posting to be a bit sparse until classes are over. After that? You won't be able to get rid of me. I bet you can barely wait.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Happily Lost in a Good Book

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Interwebz

I am thankful for... the ability to participate in Black Friday from the comfort of my own home. Complete series of Lost for $99. New bathroom rugs for 75% off. And books for my SIL for Christmas. All while in my pjs.

I refuse to go out on Black Friday. It's safer for everyone because I am NOT a morning person and I also do poorly in crowds. I hate people in my personal space. Add to that how pushy and greedy and violent people become over saving $10 on a video game and it's all a bad combination.

We'll go out in a couple of hours - to a run-down movie theatre that plays foreign and independent films. I may even change out of my jammies for the excursion.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Since I've spent the entire month (and have a few days remaining) focusing on gratitude, I'm going to skip a long post. I don't want to spend the time writing it and I don't want you to spend the time reading it.

I'm thankful for... so many things. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, whatever it is you're doing today.

And for those of you not celebrating Thanksgiving for whatever reason, have a good Thursday!

Options

I am thankful for... opportunities.

Two days ago, my department at work hosted a "wake" for me. You know - a celebration of my accomplishments and wishing me well. Everyone was all somber like I was dying when really I feel like I'm just starting to live. They were all so sorry to see me go (then why were you such a PITA to work with for the last almost-decade?) and countless times I was asked the same question - what's next?

It's a good question, really. I'm sure many of them expected me to say I had accepted another position elsewhere. I think my boss put it out there that I was going to be in school full-time, which is a nice face-saving strategy on his part, except they all know he's a nightmare to work for, lying right up to the end.

So, what IS next? I'll finish classes in just under two weeks. I'll put the house and my life back in order - things aren't bad but I've rarely felt this out of control. I'll do some reading and some relaxing. Enjoy the holidays. And then after the first of the year...

I have no idea, really. I just know that it will be something new. Maybe I'll consult. Maybe I'll head back to the corporate world. Maybe I can find a great non-profit that needs my skills.

Whatever is next, it will be something new. It's a little scary and a lot exciting. And much needed. I'm really grateful to have the ability to take this step back, regroup, and figure out what works for me.

Fruit

I am thankful for.. apple slices. Yum.

Sorry, you know it's been a crazy day when it's after 2pm and the best I can come up with is fruit.

Milestone

I am thankful for... 700 posts! Yep, this is the big 700. I'd like to celebrate with a nap.

If only I had more time, I'd write a little retrospective and link to some of my favorites. Instead, go read my post from yesterday if you haven't already. Please. Because it's more interesting than this.

Unconditional Love and Acceptance

I'm thankful for... a husband that loves me unconditionally and accepts me for who I am.

Or, at least I think I'm thankful for that. Sometimes, it concerns me a bit that he really thinks I'm that crazy.

For example, we had this conversation yesterday:

me: Here's a link to that watercolor I bought.
Joe: Watercolor? You bought a watercolor!
me: Yeah, I told you about it. I told you I had two glasses of wine and got all excited and begged someone to let me buy their watercolor. And you even acknowledged me and said that was fine.
Joe: I thought you said you bought a water cooler.
me: What the...?
Joe: I thought you were going to miss the one at work so you bought one for the house.
me: But I told you it was only $25.
Joe: I just thought you found a really awesome deal!

So, yay that Joe was totally okay with me purchasing a water cooler, to the point that he didn't even question it. Just, okay, woohoo, you bought a water cooler!

Acceptance of my crazy is grand, though I really wonder if he thinks I'm more screwed up than I actually am. Or maybe he just has a more accurate reading of my crazy and I think I'm not all that bad but in reality I'm some freakshow who goes around excitedly buying water coolers on the internet.

Or maybe I'm reading far too much into this and Joe just needs to have his hearing checked.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Excited to see what comes next

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

My Dearest Gwen

I'm thankful for... Gwen, my Blackberry.

Recently, I sent Joe a text that was supposed to say: highway bad both dirs. Gwen so helpfully corrected it to highway bad both firs.

Why am I thankful? Because Gwen is not a total skankwhore like iPhones. I've seen what their autocorrect does. Frankly, it's disgusting and juvenile and I laughed so hard I scared the cat I was NOT amused.

P.S. Also not amusing? When I wrote this post, last night, the Damn You Autocorrect site wasn't working. So, another fail.

Countdown

Walking into the office, knowing my time here is almost over, has become excruciating. My resignation has set off a chain reaction of drama and panic and demands and complete crazy.

I am thankful for... 32 hours left to work.

Warmth

I'm thankful for... the lovely mild weather. A few dreary days, some strong storms overnight, and now it's warm and sunny and lovely outside.

Stayin' Alive

I am thankful for... The BeeGees. Perked me right up on a rainy drive into work this morning.

Do NOT judge me. I don't judge YOU out loud to your face about your love of Harry Potter and Twilight.

Destination: Resignation

A NaBloPoMo of Gratitude that has been LONG in the making... This is the Ambiguous Gratitude I mentioned last week.

After a weekend alone, I've been able to wrap my head around things enough to blog about it, at least a little bit.

As I write this, at home on a class day, my boss is telling the rest of my department at work that I turned in my resignation on Friday. He will then email all of the other department directors, and by the time I go into the office tomorrow, I expect it will be widely known.

It wasn't an easy decision. I've been at that job for almost ten years. During that time, I've taken my position from small and narrow to large and in-charge. But due to politics and selfish agendas, my duties have narrowed once more and I'm no longer in control. All of this while I'm taking my classes and growing excited about all of the possibilities out there that I want so much to explore. That's the professional side of my resignation.

I was gearing up to leave anyways, eventually. Emotional abuse, unnecessary stress, the drama llama... The mental and physical toll it has all taken on my well-being is ridiculous. And it all came to a head two weeks ago with a completely avoidable incident that resulted in the head honcho (CEO-equivalent, my boss's boss's boss) forcing me to work on a class day. To sum it up, he knew he had promised something on a certain date, but he didn't bother communicating that to me or anyone else, and when he was told I wasn't working that day, he said he didn't care and it had to be done RIGHT THEN regardless.

Maybe it doesn't sound like much. But it is the second major interruption I've had of my classwork. And after years and years, it was my breaking point.

So on Friday, I turned in my resignation. My last day will be November 29th. It wasn't an easy decision but after talking with Joe and considering all of our options, it seemed like the only decision.

I'm sharing it here, but I won't be sharing it with my family. I don't have it in me to deal with their questions and concerns and judging right now. What matters is that I am confident in my decision, my husband supports me, and financially, we can afford to do give me this break before I breakdown any more.

For all this, I am thankful. And (because it can't be said enough) to all of you who have supported me through the craziness of work over the years and especially my Twitter-freaking over the past few months, I appreciate that you support me in ways that my family never has and never will. The last couple of weeks have been an especially trying time to find myself committed to a month of thankfulness on my blog, but I'll be able to end the month on a high note.

What's next for me? Stay tuned...

P.S. Just a reminder to those of you on Facebook - please don't mention it there. I *really* don't want the family reading it.

Me me me

NaBloPoMo of Gratitude:

I am thankful for...

• a healthy husband who decides "eh, let's run a 10k in 2 days" and does so at an 8 minute pace
• personal growth over the years that allows me to appreciate a weekend alone rather than spazzing that my husband is out of town
• diva-cats that occasionally crave affection.

Happy Sunday!

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Joe running 10k. Cate running amok.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

TGIF

NaBloPoMo of Gratitude, Captain Obvious-style.

I'm thankful for... Friday!!!!

We've reached the end of what has been a very stressful ten days for me. Classes and work have been non-stop deadlines, demands, and drama.

Now it's Friday. Joe's meeting me for lunch at a park nearby. At 5pm, I start a three-day weekend. And I even have some time to myself since Joe will be on the road for a 10k.

So TGIF, people! Hope your weekend is made of awesome!

Friends

Quick gratitude today.

I am thankful for... friends. I have several friends I want to devote longer posts to but in the meantime, just thank you to those of you who provide me with reasons to smile, shoulders to cry on, and my very own cheering section.

You all kick the llama's ass. (Eleventy bajillion cat hairs to the first person to get that reference - and no, it has nothing to do with my drama llama boss)

Ambiguous Gratitude

NaBloPoMo of Gratitude, day #8264. Or something.

Today, I am thankful for... something I don't quite dare blog about yet. There are big changes coming in my life and I feel like if I blog about things before they are official, I'll jinx it somehow.

Don't worry though - you will all know in due time. Which brings me to my second gratitude of the day (I KNOW! Total over-achiever!): I am thankful for... this blog. I won't be sharing any of this with anyone "for realz" except Joe. Which means this blog is about to become my only outlet for a significant bit of my life.

P.S. No, I'm not pregnant.

Attention! The NaBloPoMo of Gratitude...

...is not feeling very grateful today.

I'm thankful for... days that last only 24 hours so we can start fresh tomorrow.

Though that makes me wonder - what's so special about a "new day" as opposed to a "new hour" or a "new minute"? Why do we waste so much time waiting for a new day or a new week or a new month?

Maybe it has to do with sleep.

Monday? Where's My Coffee?

Day 8 of my NaBloPoMo of Gratitude and I am thankful for... coffee.

Especially on a Monday morning. The lyrics to this video are awesome. And bonus because if you don't care about coffee, you can just enjoy the awesome dog doing amazing tricks. Everyone wins!



The song is "Coffee", by Josh Woodward, and I kinda love it.

With enough coffee, anything is possible

Extra Hour

NaBloPoMo of Gratitude Day #7.

I am thankful for... an extra hour today.

Bet this is the only blog in the whole time-changing world that even mentions that today, huh?

I plan to use half of it towards classwork and the other half towards a movie.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Thankful for sleeping in on Saturdays

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Presence of Mind

I am thankful for... the presence of mind to try to be thankful, even though it's a challenge right now.

I have a whole long post I want to write about this but today is not the day. I want to approach it on a more upbeat day so I can share the joy it's bringing on most days. But this has been a bad week. Work has sucked the life out of me, I'm behind on classwork, and I haven't been able to spend any time on a personal project that's very important to me.

But I'm thankful that even though there's a lot of negative going on right now, I'm at least trying not to let it get me down. I'm attempting not to focus on it, not to let it leave me unable to function. I'm still looking for the good, hoping for the best, and moving in the general direction of "forward". Even if I'm not moving as quickly as I'd like and whistling a happy tune.

A shorty

Today, I am thankful for... being inside, snuggled up in my blanket, drinking coffee. No need to be out in the rain dealing with the world.

Small Children

Day 3 of NaNoFoSho NoShoMoFo gratitude month. I wasn't sure what I wanted to be grateful for today. Not that I'm grumpy or lacking in options, but nothing felt quite right.

Then I got an email from my sister's photo account, alerting me to new photos of the niece and nephew. Yay, Halloween! Except, Collin? Not so much yay. More like there is no way I am going to pull up the hood on this suit to make me look like a monkey and I hate you for even making me put on the rest of it. Ahh, 2.5 year olds.

Caley, on the other hand? She was dressed as a pea pod. An outfit so overdone for small children that I'm sure you've all seen it. For reference, see photo at right. (Note: that is some random baby, not my niece) Only Caley is an active little critter and 10 months old, standing and trying to walk, so her feet were freer.

Anyways, the first photo of Caley only had the hat part on her head. And her grin just screamed OMG, do you see this thing on my head? It's like the best thing in the ENTIRE WORLD!!! Every picture of this kid is like that. The biggest most maniacal grin. Pure joy. Even the photo where she's eating a sock, she's smiling like it's her birthday, she just won the lottery, AND she has found the answer to world peace.

And so today, I am thankful for... the absolute glee on my niece's face, like every day is a gift and every moment an adventure. I wish we didn't lose that joy as we grow into adults. And I wish that little munchkin lived closer because I miss the hell out of her.

Easily Amused

Day two of "NaBloPoMo of Gratitude". I'm wondering how many days in before typing "NaBloPoMo" comes a bit more naturally...

I am thankful for... my ability to be easily amused.

Now, before you think to yourself, "Self, it's only the second day and already she's not taking this seriously!", I need to clarify that I am 100% for realz about being grateful for this ability. Even if some people may see it less as a skill and more as a hindrance.

For example, I have this amazing ability to misread things in ways that make them far more interesting. A few days ago, I read a headline about "Weather Hamsters Search for Plane". Whoa, weather hamsters! I was excited to read this article because my husband is a total weather geek and yet he's never mentioned weather hamsters. Propelled by a need to one up my husband help make Joe's weather knowledge more complete, I clicked the article only to be let down. "Weather HAMPERS search for plane." Pfft. How boring!

I do that kind of thing all the time. And rather than be disappointed about the non-existence of weather hamsters, I choose to laugh. I find the funny where I can. And some days, I really need it.

So yes, I am thankful for my ability to be easily amused.

NaBloPoMo of Gratitude

Tis November. In years past, I may have been tempted to join in the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) madness. Alas, this year finds me neck-deep in classwork and uninspired to write fiction.

Instead, in solidarity with the every-day-writers, I thought I'd commit to NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). But to avoid commitment of another type (the kind that involves men in white jackets), I needed a way to post every day without losing that last half a shred of sanity. That's when I received an email from Cheryl at The B'z House that Love Built. She's running a "2010 I'm thankful for..." challenge. Perfect!

Every day this month, I will be posting something I'm thankful for - some will no doubt be longer than others. Some days will include actual posts that relate to the gratitude and some days it might be a challenge just to get out a sentence. But my emotions have been a bit up and down recently and my attitude could definitely benefit from focusing on some warm fuzzies.

So best of luck to my friends participating in NaNoWriMo. Same to my pals doing NaBloPoMo. And my hat is off to those of you crazy dedicated enough to do both.

I am thankful for... cozy scarves that protect my neck from the cold.

P.S. I don't actually wear hats but it's the thought that counts, right?

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Things go *bump* in the night

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

You Asked, I Answer

According to an email I received last week, I have 3 unanswered questions on Formspring. Awesome! Except I don't remember signing up for Formspring. Is it just a trap? Who knows. But in case I did and I don't remember and you asked me these really important questions, I'm going to answer them now.

What was your favorite year?

1998. Because I left my parents' home forever married Joe.

Who inspires you the most?

I think my boss, The Drama Llama, inspires me the most. He inspires me to further my education and to move forward in my career. Mainly so I don't have to keep working for clowns like him.

If you could taste only one flavor for the rest of your life what would you want that flavor to be.

Technically this is not a question because there is no question mark at the end. That means I don't have to answer it. But I will anyways because I'm awesome like that. Mint. No, peanut butter. Chocolate? I think I'll go with pizza.

If you have any questions for me, apparently you can ask them by going here. And in nine months or so, I might answer them. Or not.

Punishable by Death

Bart calls Moe's Bar.

Moe: Hello?
Pause
Moe: Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely!
Bart: Bwahahahaha!

So I have a confession. I pee frequently. Not freely, mind you. Just frequently.

This is my father's fault. As a child, every time we would go anywhere, he'd ask me if I had used the bathroom first. In fact, he insisted that I always used the bathroom before I got in the car.

Once I was old enough to start giving this some thought, I asked why.

My father, my hero, said, "Well, once there was a family in a car accident. They all would've survived. Except they didn't pee before they left home so when their car crashed, their bladders all burst, causing them to die. And that's why it's so important for you to use the bathroom before you get in the car, every time. Also, you never know if the place you're going even has a bathroom. Or if you might be stuck in traffic. The longer you go without going, the greater the chances that your bladder might burst!"

At thirty-ahemthroatclearing-years old, guess what? I still run to the restroom EVERY time we go somewhere, every time there is an opportunity. Because some part of me is still afraid that I might get in an accident and I'll die. Or that I might end up in the Land of No Bathrooms.

Why am I sharing this? This past weekend, Joe and I took a road trip from our undisclosed location. We were on the road for several hours. And at (almost) every rest area, Joe would ask if I needed to stop. "No!" I would proclaim, somehow proud of something so stupid as not needing every restroom (Sidebar: This is actually quite an accomplishment for a girl who has had to stop frequently in the past due to the travel anxiety making me sick as hell).

So proud, so awesome. That is, until we pulled off the highway and onto the country sideroads. Aka, The Land of No Bathrooms. Which resulted in this tweet:

Tired of being in the car. And of course I didn't have to pee until we left the highway. No rest areas here. Just tractors.

To which the ever-wise Beth from C. Beth Blog responded thusly:

Yeah, I suppose a farmer would get mad if you peed in his tractor.

Totally true.

So I realize the whole "you're gonna die if you don't pee before we leave the house" was probably just my father's misguided way of avoiding unscheduled pit-stops on the road. Probably it isn't true that your bladder will burst and you will die. However, being so desperate that you resort to peeing on a farmer's tractor? That might not be a traffic accident, but it could still result in death if it makes the farmer angry enough. I guess Dad is always right, even if it's for the wrong reasons.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Run, Joe, run! Cheer, Cate, cheer!
(or)
Joe's running half a marathon tomorrow.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Quick Update

Remember that time a co-worker was always smelling me because I smelled so "lovely"? It was awhile ago but I remember it like it was just yesterday.

Oh, wait...

I kid you not but today, he stuck his head into my office, said good morning, walked away, then CAME BACK:

Jared: Oh, I forgot! (activate super sniffer) Ahhh...

Seriously, people! It's starting to give me a complex. And if there's one thing I don't need in my life, it's another fricking complex.

I think next time I come into work, I'm going to roll around in Tonya and Rusty's litter box first. Or slather my body in raw onions.

Smelly Co-worker

Looks like an unintentional theme week is happening. Because this is only my second post this week and it's again about work so, umm, welcome to Crazy Co-Worker Week at ShowMyFace! I should have a button or something. Hang on...

runs off, Muppet-style

Give me a break, it's the best I could do on such short notice. And I don't have access to my fancy button files.

Anyways!

We have this guy that works a few days a week. Nice guy. Young guy. And a few weeks ago, he came to my office door, sniffing. He tells me he smelled something and had to know what it was and he's determined it's me. What's that lovely smell?

Now, I am relieved that if I'm going to be the source of ANY smell, that it be a "lovely" one. However, as someone very sensitive to strong odors, pleasant or not, I'm also very careful not to exude any. For example - I don't wear perfume. My favorite smell is "clean".

We eventually determined that the scent is from my hand lotion. Japanese Cherry Blossom from Bath and Bodyworks, in case you're interested. I chose it because it was such a light scent. We also determined that my co-worker has a super-sniffer.

Had this been a one time thing, I would not be blogging about it. But every day I'm in the office, sometimes multiple times in one day (because I reapply my hand lotion after washing my hands), he comes to my office to "smell" me. Like this morning:

co-worker: Morning Cate, how you doing?
me: Just fine, Jared. How are you?
co-worker: (after making a big show of inhaling through his nose) I'm doing great, now!

I know I tend to be a bit weirded out by attention but come on... Tell me that's not just strange!

P.S. Do I even have to say this? No, this post is not in anyway sponsored nor was I compensated for it. Except that I wrote it on company time so technically I suppose they compensated me as I wrote it, but not FOR writing it. And I don't work for Bath and Bodyworks. And I wouldn't say I endorsed my co-worker either, unless he is applying secretly for jobs that involve his sense of smell. In which case I will gladly recommend him.

Annoying *Beep*

My morning:

Joe: So I'm on the phone and there's this really annoying beep. And I'm all - wth is this annoying beep? Then I realized it was call waiting and your boss was calling.
me: My boss definitely counts as an annoying beep. Especially if by "beep" you mean a raging obscenity.

Thus begins my week. This AFTER my boss drunk-dialed me on Friday over a (semi-)legitimate issue.

Did I mention I'm supposed to be having a class day and I'm not even on the clock for work?

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Crazy, stressful, successful week is over!

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Bus Stop

I'd just like to preface this post by saying I'm not REALLY that person. The cranky old one that shakes my fist and tells those kids to get off my lawn. That would imply that I a) care about my lawn and b) have enough free time to shake my fist at anyone but the cat.

So, I realize that our home is at the end of the subdivision. I realize the sidewalk is on our side of the street. I realize that this is the logical place for children to await bus pickup.

That's all fine. But is it too much to ask...

...that those lovely children talk in a normal tone of voice, rather than screaming and hollering at high decibels before 7am?

...that parents don't glare at me when I look both ways and carefully pull out of my garage as if I'm driving far too fast and deliberately trying to mow down their little angels?

...that those same parents don't sit in their big stupid vehicles IN FRONT of my driveway either blocking me in, or out, and then act inconvenienced when they have to move to allow me access to my property?

...that since that they're out there anyways, maybe they could bring up my paper, mow my lawn, and weed the garden?

Maybe that last one is a bit much. But I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for the first three.

At least we got them to quit eating pears off our pear tree without asking first. By cutting it down. BWAHAHAHA.

P.S. That's not why we cut the pear tree down. And we didn't really mind. Except it would've been nice if they had asked.

National Coming Out Day

Today, October 11, is Columbus Day (whatever) and Canadian Thanksgiving (yay neighbors to the north). But more importantly to me, today is also National Coming Out Day. For more information, check out the Human Rights Campaign site.

I'm not going to write a long post on this. I'm not a member of the LGBT community - except as a supporter. Personally, I'm straight. Always have been (with the exception of an odd dream here and there). But this is another one of those issues where I'm free to be straight - and everyone else should be free to be who they are. Without legal discrimination. Without judgement. Without sneers or bullying or violence. Without shame or depression.

My philosophy on life is very much "live and let live". I tend to be a bit conservative in how I conduct myself but that's my choice. And as long as how you are conducting yourself does not endanger or harm another person, I don't feel entitled to much of an opinion except to support your right to live your life. Freely. Happily. Safely.

So, today, I just want to support those who struggle with inequality in this area. Maybe some day, there won't be a need for a special day because being LGBT won't be "special" - it will be a non-issue.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

hab a code in mah nobe

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Punch Awards: My Body Sucks

It's that time again! Mostly because I'm having trouble forming coherent sentences. So instead, you get this.

Dearest Thing Growing on my Chin,

I'm way too old for this pimple. Despite the fact that it is very 1993, it does not make me look younger - it makes me look diseased.

Not enough concealer in the world,


Dear Plague,

Have you seen my to-do list? What about my class due dates? Maybe the travel schedule? Perhaps you missed them and just do not realize that this girl doesn't have time to be dealing with the crud you have inflicted upon her poor, tired body.

It would be nice if you could leave me now. I need sleep. I need to stop coughing. I need to focus on my tasks instead of staring at the screen blankly like a moron.

Ihateyouihateyouihateyou,


Dear Hair,

I'm still not entirely sure that you aren't conspiring against me. The things you are doing on top of my head are no less alarming now than they were two weeks ago.

Can't we all just get along,

ArtSwap!

Note: Just a quick post today, folks. After a few days in San Francisco last week, I haven't been feeling well the past few days. I have adventures to share, as soon as I manage to clear this cold out of my head.

Since it was such a success back in May, @dpringle is coordinating a second edition of ArtSwap!

What is ArtSwap? It's an opportunity to share your art with a fellow artist and collect a piece in return. For more information about ArtSwap, check out the ArtSwap site. Check out the gallery of swapped art from the May exchange - amazing pieces!

This time around, the ArtSwap is dedicated to the memory of Kristen Ettensohn, a young artist who passed away this summer. Once ArtSwap is complete, David will be publishing a book of the swapped art and 50% of the profits will go to the KME Memorial Scholarship Fund.

I'm not an artist but I think this is a fabulous idea so I'm doing what I can to spread the word and support the project. David had am amazing response last time (14 countries!) and participants couldn't wait to do it again. Consider joining in this time, or passing along the word to any of your artist friends.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Lots of travel, lots of fun

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Snake!!!

me: EEEEK!!! There's totally a snake out there on the ground!
Joe: Where?
me: RIGHT THERE!!! (cue frantic pointing out our hotel window)
Joe: That's not a snake.
me: How do you know?
Joe: We're on the 6th floor. It's a cable or something.

Pffft. Whatever. Like snakes can't get to the 6th floor.

However, since it's still there today, I might have to concede that is it, in fact, NOT a snake. Or that maybe it's a dead snake. Yeah, it must be a dead snake. No way Joe's allowed to be right.

Splitting Hairs

On Saturday, I finally went to have my hair cut. It's the first time since I got the borderline-Kate Gosselin hair back in January. It took my this long to gather my courage to attempt another cut. Not to mention it took this long to grow some hair for cutting.

After the lady cut it and styled it, I loved it. Of course. That's how it always goes. Today, I'm not so sure. I keep looking at it, trying to decide what I don't like about it. And finally I have the answer.

The specific thing I don't like about this haircut is that it's my hair on my head. I suppose the grass is always greener but I really don't like my fine, wavy hair and what all that actually does on top of my noggin.

But it IS an improvement over the non-style that grew out of the Gosselin-'do. At this point, I'll take what I can get.

P.S. Just in case this turns into a THING, I need to keep track. But last night, I slept in a Recliner of Death because I was coughing in my sleep. Let's hope we're not working towards a repeat of last Fall.

New Go-To Excuse

"I can't blog today because I have a song stuck in my head and i can't hear my writing voice over Lady Gaga."

It may also work for tasks other than blogging. You're welcome.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

insert funny or deep words HERE

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

The Numbers Game

This post is a rambly response to C. Beth's post today (Two is enough). She talks about the ages of her children and how she's really enjoying the level of development each has reached. Rather than feel baby fever, she's very content with the two adorable children she has been blessed to raise. She ended the post by asking how we feel about the number of kids we do or don't have.

Unless you're new here, you know that the number of kids I have is zero. It's complicated. I always wanted kids (probably two). Then I didn't want kids until later. Now that it's later, I just don't know anymore. My vision of what I do or don't want is clouded by emotional and physical issues that seem impossible to sort out.

That made me think about my experience growing up and the number of siblings I had.

I grew up as one of three children. I was the oldest by 5 years, with my brother and sister being only 2 years apart. For years, I was the spoiled only grandchild. Then came Rob and Tina.

I often felt left out as they played together. As the years passed, I then resented that since the "younger" kids were the majority, most of our activities were more age-appropriate for them. At 13, I was over Halloween. At 15, Chuck E Cheese wasn't my idea of a good time. By 16, I was tired of babysitting and dragging them around and being responsible for them.

This is why I think kids should come roughly in pairs. If there had been two older kids and two younger kids, it would've been okay. Of course, those of you who know me best know why that's an even bigger issue for me.

Here are some other reasons I believe two children is a good number:

• no more kids than you have hands to hold
• they shouldn't outnumber you and the other parent
• most homes have 3 bedrooms
• food items (and most everything else) come in even numbers (if there's an odd number, that means one for mama!)
• noone has to sit in the stupid middle seat in the car

So there, some random thoughts about kids, families, numbers, and product packaging. Go read Beth's post and let her know what you think.

Why I Keep This Blog

Alternate title: I have a date!

Last week's bandage post was totally about shutting down this blog. See, the more overwhelmed I am with things like classes and work, the more I start trying to figure out what I can cut out. What activities am I spending time on that I could take off my list?

I've already given up 7D7A despite my love for it. I stopped visiting EVERY 6WS post EVERY week. I've limited participation in a few other blogs to a much more infrequent level. I've even scaled back how often I post here, bit by bit.

I thought to myself - this blog is expendable. I can hang it up, at least temporarily.

But the more I thought about it, the more it freaked me out and I couldn't quite bring myself to do it.

Then yesterday, I posted about heading to San Francisco and put myself out there to meet up with someone if they're in the area. I had a response. I peed myself a little felt nervous.

And then I responded back and said, basically - yes, let's try to work something out. I don't want to be a total PITA but I'm just going to say that I'm terrified of navigating around by myself and would prefer to meet somewhere very near my hotel. Otherwise I may completely freak out with anxiety and spend the whole trip cowering under the bed.

THAT is why I keep this blog. Because here I can be honest. With all of you, I can just throw it out there and be myself. Behind this small bit of anonymity, I am much more comfortable in my own skin. And for some reason, some of you still seem to like me. Or at least accept me which is just as valuable. I've made some great friends since starting this blog 659 posts ago and I don't want to miss out on the experiences I may have during the next 659 posts.

Thank you.

So I'll keep posting when I feel the urge to do so. When I can't, I won't. And it will be okay.

San Francisco Here I Come!

Just a quick post today but I'm going to be brave and put myself out there. Social anxiety? Not for this medicated fearless wonder!

I'm going to be in San Francisco for a few days next week. If anyone reading happens to be in the area and up for meeting sometime Thursday, I'm going to have that entire day to myself because my husband is abandoning me geeking it up at some conference all day and eating fancy dinner. I'm thinking that meeting for breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, wine somewhere near my hotel so that you don't abduct me. I'll be staying near Union Square.

Likewise, if anyone has any great suggestions for places very nearby that a terrified girl wandering alone might find some good eats or drinks in a safe environment, let's hear it!

Friday, Napa better be on alert. Because I intend to taste ALL the wine!

Wedding Photography

Last week, a friend posted pictures of her wedding on Facebook. A lot of the photos were really lovely. And then there was this:



Note: This is not my friend's actual photo - I took this from a free stock photo site.

Every set of wedding photos I see lately has a photo like this. (Also, every jumping shot always has that one person who jumps awkwardly STRAIGHT up like a plank and just looks kinda dumb.) I suppose they are jumping for joy.

Umm, what? When's the last time *you* jumped for joy? Because I don't think I ever have. Sure, I've Snoopy-danced for joy. I've been known to eeeeeeeee for joy. It's possible I've even fist-pumped for joy.

This leads me to conclude that they must be jumping for other reasons.



Like fire!

Photographer: Jump, girls! Or those fancy dresses you're never going to wear again anyways are going to catch on FIRE!!!

Or maybe psycho killer rats! You can always tell psycho killer rats from regular rats based on the glowing.

Surely there must be a more logical reason for all that jumping...



Ahh, yes. My friend had her wedding during Shark Week. That explains everything.

P.S. To my photographer friends - any idea what this is all about? Also, I still think you do awesome work. Just don't ever ask me to jump. Because it's entirely possible that I may tell you to go jump.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Objects in motion stay in motion

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>