Snake!!!

me: EEEEK!!! There's totally a snake out there on the ground!
Joe: Where?
me: RIGHT THERE!!! (cue frantic pointing out our hotel window)
Joe: That's not a snake.
me: How do you know?
Joe: We're on the 6th floor. It's a cable or something.

Pffft. Whatever. Like snakes can't get to the 6th floor.

However, since it's still there today, I might have to concede that is it, in fact, NOT a snake. Or that maybe it's a dead snake. Yeah, it must be a dead snake. No way Joe's allowed to be right.

Splitting Hairs

On Saturday, I finally went to have my hair cut. It's the first time since I got the borderline-Kate Gosselin hair back in January. It took my this long to gather my courage to attempt another cut. Not to mention it took this long to grow some hair for cutting.

After the lady cut it and styled it, I loved it. Of course. That's how it always goes. Today, I'm not so sure. I keep looking at it, trying to decide what I don't like about it. And finally I have the answer.

The specific thing I don't like about this haircut is that it's my hair on my head. I suppose the grass is always greener but I really don't like my fine, wavy hair and what all that actually does on top of my noggin.

But it IS an improvement over the non-style that grew out of the Gosselin-'do. At this point, I'll take what I can get.

P.S. Just in case this turns into a THING, I need to keep track. But last night, I slept in a Recliner of Death because I was coughing in my sleep. Let's hope we're not working towards a repeat of last Fall.

New Go-To Excuse

"I can't blog today because I have a song stuck in my head and i can't hear my writing voice over Lady Gaga."

It may also work for tasks other than blogging. You're welcome.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

insert funny or deep words HERE

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

The Numbers Game

This post is a rambly response to C. Beth's post today (Two is enough). She talks about the ages of her children and how she's really enjoying the level of development each has reached. Rather than feel baby fever, she's very content with the two adorable children she has been blessed to raise. She ended the post by asking how we feel about the number of kids we do or don't have.

Unless you're new here, you know that the number of kids I have is zero. It's complicated. I always wanted kids (probably two). Then I didn't want kids until later. Now that it's later, I just don't know anymore. My vision of what I do or don't want is clouded by emotional and physical issues that seem impossible to sort out.

That made me think about my experience growing up and the number of siblings I had.

I grew up as one of three children. I was the oldest by 5 years, with my brother and sister being only 2 years apart. For years, I was the spoiled only grandchild. Then came Rob and Tina.

I often felt left out as they played together. As the years passed, I then resented that since the "younger" kids were the majority, most of our activities were more age-appropriate for them. At 13, I was over Halloween. At 15, Chuck E Cheese wasn't my idea of a good time. By 16, I was tired of babysitting and dragging them around and being responsible for them.

This is why I think kids should come roughly in pairs. If there had been two older kids and two younger kids, it would've been okay. Of course, those of you who know me best know why that's an even bigger issue for me.

Here are some other reasons I believe two children is a good number:

• no more kids than you have hands to hold
• they shouldn't outnumber you and the other parent
• most homes have 3 bedrooms
• food items (and most everything else) come in even numbers (if there's an odd number, that means one for mama!)
• noone has to sit in the stupid middle seat in the car

So there, some random thoughts about kids, families, numbers, and product packaging. Go read Beth's post and let her know what you think.

Why I Keep This Blog

Alternate title: I have a date!

Last week's bandage post was totally about shutting down this blog. See, the more overwhelmed I am with things like classes and work, the more I start trying to figure out what I can cut out. What activities am I spending time on that I could take off my list?

I've already given up 7D7A despite my love for it. I stopped visiting EVERY 6WS post EVERY week. I've limited participation in a few other blogs to a much more infrequent level. I've even scaled back how often I post here, bit by bit.

I thought to myself - this blog is expendable. I can hang it up, at least temporarily.

But the more I thought about it, the more it freaked me out and I couldn't quite bring myself to do it.

Then yesterday, I posted about heading to San Francisco and put myself out there to meet up with someone if they're in the area. I had a response. I peed myself a little felt nervous.

And then I responded back and said, basically - yes, let's try to work something out. I don't want to be a total PITA but I'm just going to say that I'm terrified of navigating around by myself and would prefer to meet somewhere very near my hotel. Otherwise I may completely freak out with anxiety and spend the whole trip cowering under the bed.

THAT is why I keep this blog. Because here I can be honest. With all of you, I can just throw it out there and be myself. Behind this small bit of anonymity, I am much more comfortable in my own skin. And for some reason, some of you still seem to like me. Or at least accept me which is just as valuable. I've made some great friends since starting this blog 659 posts ago and I don't want to miss out on the experiences I may have during the next 659 posts.

Thank you.

So I'll keep posting when I feel the urge to do so. When I can't, I won't. And it will be okay.

San Francisco Here I Come!

Just a quick post today but I'm going to be brave and put myself out there. Social anxiety? Not for this medicated fearless wonder!

I'm going to be in San Francisco for a few days next week. If anyone reading happens to be in the area and up for meeting sometime Thursday, I'm going to have that entire day to myself because my husband is abandoning me geeking it up at some conference all day and eating fancy dinner. I'm thinking that meeting for breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, wine somewhere near my hotel so that you don't abduct me. I'll be staying near Union Square.

Likewise, if anyone has any great suggestions for places very nearby that a terrified girl wandering alone might find some good eats or drinks in a safe environment, let's hear it!

Friday, Napa better be on alert. Because I intend to taste ALL the wine!

Wedding Photography

Last week, a friend posted pictures of her wedding on Facebook. A lot of the photos were really lovely. And then there was this:



Note: This is not my friend's actual photo - I took this from a free stock photo site.

Every set of wedding photos I see lately has a photo like this. (Also, every jumping shot always has that one person who jumps awkwardly STRAIGHT up like a plank and just looks kinda dumb.) I suppose they are jumping for joy.

Umm, what? When's the last time *you* jumped for joy? Because I don't think I ever have. Sure, I've Snoopy-danced for joy. I've been known to eeeeeeeee for joy. It's possible I've even fist-pumped for joy.

This leads me to conclude that they must be jumping for other reasons.



Like fire!

Photographer: Jump, girls! Or those fancy dresses you're never going to wear again anyways are going to catch on FIRE!!!

Or maybe psycho killer rats! You can always tell psycho killer rats from regular rats based on the glowing.

Surely there must be a more logical reason for all that jumping...



Ahh, yes. My friend had her wedding during Shark Week. That explains everything.

P.S. To my photographer friends - any idea what this is all about? Also, I still think you do awesome work. Just don't ever ask me to jump. Because it's entirely possible that I may tell you to go jump.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

Objects in motion stay in motion

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

How do you remove a bandage?

Do you think about it for a long time? Do you consider the pros and cons of leaving the bandage on to remove another day? Do you explore all options for removing it?

Do you pull the bandage off slowly, hoping that the incremental advancement will somehow lessen the discomfort?

Or do you rip the bandage right off, quick?

I'm currently considering my options but I think I have a bandage that needs removing. Maybe I've even been picking at the edges. But I think the rip might come soon.

P.S. This isn't about an actual bandage. It's a metaphor. For a situation.

P.P.S. Eww. A bandage? Really?

P.P.P.S. Six Word Saturday tomorrow.

New Friends Thanks to Social Networking

Over the years, I've met a lot of people online that I now consider to be close friends. Some I've met through chat rooms, others through message boards, more recently blogging and Twitter. It's only in the past few years that they've started calling it "social networking" and it's suddenly the "in" thing.

So this weekend, I signed up for a new site. They viciously hacked conveniently accessed my email contacts so I could become "friends" with other users on the site. These connections are then confirmed by email that states "you are now friends with...".

Now, first of all, that's kinda not accurate, is it? NOW I'm friends with them? No, I was friends with them before. Otherwise you wouldn't have set up the connection.

My favorite notification is when I get messages that "you are now friends with Joe McPuncherFace". As in my husband. When I mentioned to him that it's kind of funny to now be friends with him, he only scoffed. "We're married - being friends has nothing to do with it."

Umm, haha? I think?

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

September 11th - I still haven't forgotten

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Ordinary Words, Unordinary Feelings

I've noticed that I'm starting to accumulate quite a list of words that others use quite freely but trigger a punch you in the face reaction from me. Often the twitchy reaction is started by one person's use of the word and it grows until any use of the word makes my blood pressure rise. For kicks and to save you from potential face-punchings, I thought I'd share a few today, along with how they've been used that makes me recoil in disgust.

hubby: "I only stay with my hubby because we decided whoever leaves has to take the kids and neither of us want them."

The first in a long line of words poisoned for me by my mother. She constantly refers to my father as her "hubby", usually while saying something demeaning about him or condescending to him. As a result, anytime I hear the word "hubby", it makes me think the husband involved is being verbally abused.

irked: "With your wedding coming up soon, this is the wrong time to have your father and I irked at you."

We'll let the improper use of "I" slide to focus on "irked". Why was she "irked"? Because I refused to let her forge my signature on a check that was coming in my name. "Irked" is definitely one of her key words and she overuses it.

lucky: "You and your husband are lucky you have such good jobs. Your sister and her husband haven't been that lucky."

Yes, luck. That is why we have our jobs. It has nothing to do with those college degrees, post-undergrad training, certifications, years of experience, relocating to areas with a lot of jobs in our industry, or Joe's MBA. My current school endeavors are apparently for grins and giggles.  And yes, my sister just isn't as "lucky" as us with her high school diploma, 6 months experience as a part-time grocery bagger, and location in the city where she grew up, which has no jobs. "Lucky" my arse.

acclimate: "I know you don't like it when I'm away but you're going to have to stop freaking out and get acclimated."

Really, husband? Really?!?! I realize, looking back, that it was silly of me to be so upset when he traveled. But to use the word "acclimate" on your upset spouse is not the most comforting approach. Though, I guess I'm "acclimated" now because I'm a-ok with him taking off occasionally.

I think I'll leave you with just those for now. I'll save some others for another post.

On an unrelated note, this is my second day at home as a student. The last two days at work were rough, ending with my car being rear-ended at a red light on the commute home last night. I'm fine and the car isn't even scratched. Still, sipping my coffee on the back porch while I ease into the books is not a bad gig.

What a Start

I'm going to go ahead and warn you right now that this post includes references to slight ickiness that you may or may not want to read over breakfast. Or ever.

Today begins my status as a part-time employee, full-time student. I only work two days this week, with yesterday being a holiday and the remaining two days devoted to classwork.

I awoke early with great plans! On most of my class days, I intend to wake up at the same time I would wake up for work. Sure, I could indulge and sleep in but that's not the point of this part-time employment. So this morning, I started off well, waking up around 6:45 and out of bed by 7am. I created my task list for the day, including two more units of my PR class.

As I prepared coffee and a light breakfast-to-go for the husband, it all took a turn for the worse when Tonya came flying down the stairs like her tail was on fire. She decided to put that fire out by scooting her furry little booty across the (new!) carpet. Apparently she missed the memo that the (new!) carpet is NOT Charmin. I yelled and chased her back upstairs, where I held her down as Joe cleaned her up. The entire time, she cursed and screamed serenaded us with some lovely songs of thanksgiving.

It was while I stood in the bathroom holding Tonya for her impromptu booty-bath that I looked over and discovered that Rusty had decided to poo in the tub again. Awesome.

So far, my first day as part-time employee, full-time student has involved a cat bath, scrubbing cat poo out of the bathtub, and using my miraculous BFF (pictured at right) to scrub multiple spots on the (new!) carpet. All before 7:30.

It can only get better from here, right? RIGHT?!?!? ZOMGPBANDJANDBBQ YOU HAVE TO TELL ME I'M RIGHT!!!!

P.S. As I prepared to click "publish" on this post, I heard a crash from upstairs. Where Tonya is hanging out because Joe has already gotten the hell out of Dodge abandoned me with the fur-devils dutifully departed for work. If I'm not back in ten minutes, assume I am murdering cats. And please send help and gin.

P.P.S. This post was not sponsored or endorsed by Bissell. But I'm totally willing to be their spokeswoman. Call me!

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

others prove unreliable - do it myself

Which explains a bit of my scarcity lately.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>