Interview with Juliet Colors at Profoundly Inarticulate

After trading interviews with Lyndsay early last week, Juliet Colors from Profoundly Inarticulate took me up on the offer to trade interviews today. Then I promised her some questions and then somehow didn't send them until way later than I had intended... But I think she's forgiven me. You can read her answers to my questions at her blog. Please check it out if you haven't already. There are so many things she posts that leave me thinking "Wait, am I posting in my sleep on some other blog and I just don't remember it? Because that is SO me!".

This is going to be another long one, folks, so get comfy! I hope you have some popcorn, a glass of Malbec, and a slanket. Maybe even a purring kitty. I tried to trim down my answers but I refused to skimp too much.

And now, to keep this from being any longer, here's the interview!

1) In your interview with Lyndsay, you brought up a very significant day in your life: Cate Independence Day, July 22, 2004. I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering what made this day so special for you. What exactly happened on July 22, 2004 and what led up to the events of that day?

The day that set off CID (because I'm not typing that out every time) was actually one month prior. I've referenced the poor relationship with my mother a few times and this was the culmination of years of aggravation. We were chatting online on June 22, 2004 and she was relentless, hitting all the pressure points in one conversation. Bad-mouthing my grandmother (Dad's mom). Using my FIL (who has been in poor health forever) to make us feel guilty about not visiting. Whining about how they have no money for a reliable vehicle to come see us because they had to pay for my brother and sister's expenses (both were 18 at this point and not working by choice), even though I never got a dime from them. And on and on.

On this particular day, I snapped. I went completely off about everything and everyone and every bit of crap she's ever given me and every lie she's ever told. I was shaking like a leaf the whole time and when it was done, I threw up for an hour. This was all at work, by the way. My dad called that night when I got home and I refused to speak to her. Told him I wasn't talking to anyone until I had figured out what I wanted to do because I was tired of the lying and being hurt.

I spent the next 30 days reading a couple of books, talking with friends, and searching my soul. I realized my mother is a horrible narcissist. Always has been and likely always will be. Rather than cut her out of my life completely, on July 22 I sent her an email naming a bunch of people that were off-limits for discussion unless they were in the hospital or dead because she says and does hurtful things to me and people I care about . She replied, demanding examples. And I replied that she could either respect my wishes or we would not be having a relationship.

It was necessary and has made things a lot easier for me. She still brings them up occasionally and I ignore or change the subject. And there's no shortage of other topics for her to needle me about. But CID was a great day in that I finally stood up to her.

That's long - and I've cut it down three times already.

2) In a previous post, you confessed to using a webcam to spy on your cats (and others) when you are away from home. I can't imagine my cats do anything more than sleep all day when I'm gone, so I'd like to know, have you learned anything interesting or useful through your use of this device?

Ahh, the webcam. We bought it for general house-monitoring when we're away on trips. It has also come in quite handy spying on contractors that have done building projects outside. It's handy when they insist they were there working all day and we know they only showed up for two hours.

But the most interesting cat-related thing we've seen was last September. Tonya's routine at that point involved sleeping on our bed all day so that's where we directed the camera. One afternoon I happened to pull up the live feed when our cat sitter was there. The sweet Cat-Sitter gently reach towards Tonya, talking to her in a calm quiet voice. Tonya allowed Cat-Sitter to scratch her chin for a few minutes. It was encouraging to see that Tonya was getting along so well with a stranger! And then Tonya pulled her head back and swatted the hell out that poor woman. I mean, KAPOW!!! BLAMMO!!! Not that Cat-Sitter tattled but we knew Tonya had been a very naughty kitty.

3) You've featured your cats Tonya and Rusty several times in your blog. (The clever Tonya even wrote a blog post of her own!) How did you get them each to agree to take you and Joe on as their people (slaves for life)?

On one of my last days at work before moving out of the area, I mentioned to the ladies there that I was excited to get a kitten when we moved into our new place. The next day, they gave me Tonya as a going away present. One of the ladies had a neighbor that had moved away, leaving behind two pregnant cats. Tonya was one of the babies. The vet cleared her for travel (she was barely 4 weeks old) and we threw her in the car with us for a 14-hour drive. As a result, she's an excellent traveler!

Rusty was all Joe's doing. Joe hit PetSmart one night to pick up more food for Tonya and they were having an adoption event. He saw Rusty and fell in love with him. He told me about him that night and I said no. Seriously, Tonya's enough of a handful! But Joe was persistent - even though he's never claimed to be a cat person. Finally I gave in and went to meet Rusty and he was such a sweet little boy, he won me over.

And I have to include this from Juliet's email because it cracked me up:

(Are compound questions okay? You won't punch me in the face, will you? Because numbers 4 & 5...)

4) You've mentioned before having multiple blogs besides this one (16 total). Why so many blogs? How long have you been blogging overall, and what do you hope to get out of it? Fame, fortune, friendship, etc.?

I think that number (16) has possibly gone up since the last count. I have a lot of blogs that I registered mainly to snag the name for projects I had in mind at the time. I'm guilty of letting a lot of them sit empty at this point. And a few were used regularly for the duration of a project and now sit idle.

• I have a boring blog that's very tied to my real-life identity. Anyone that knows my name and Googles me will find that one so I'm very cautious and limited about the things I say.
• I have a blog where I just spout off angry things. If you're familiar with the concept of "unsaids", it's kinda like that. It's therapeutic sometimes to just type off a quick obnoxious post and be done with it so I can move on to something more positive.
• A few of you have noticed "Save My Face" attached to this profile but private. That's only open to me and contains all of the neuroses and whining too dark and boring to post here. You're welcome for that.
• This is the blog I use most regularly and enjoy the most. I'm most free and most honest here. It also has the largest readership.

I started my first blog late in 2004 but I've had my own website in some format or another since 1997.

As for what I hope to get out of it? World domination. I have a 5 year plan that includes merchandising, charity concerts, and a political coup. Don't believe me? Stick around. In the meantime, if I manage to make some friends, cause a few people to think, or even just provide myself with an outlet from the voices in my head, that's nice as well.

5) One thing I really enjoy about your blog is your sense of humor. We can all use more laughs. Do you deliberately set out to give your blog a humorous tone, or does it just come naturally to you? Do you have any tips for other bloggers out there that aspire to be as entertaining and funny as you?

Thank you! I do try to find humor in situations. And sometimes I feel like my blog is a real downer so I do my best to add something light and fluffy when I can. Also, Joe is awesome but his sense of humor doesn't always coincide with mine. I figure there must be someone out there as twisted as me that might get a kick out of this stuff!

I don't feel that qualified to give advice but I'd say the best pointer I can give is to threaten bodily harm. The more I promise to punch people in the face, the more they keep coming back. No, not really. But pay attention to which of your posts are best received - capitalize on those but also remember that it's your blog and you need to write it for you first. And be responsive to your commenters! They are awesome wonderful individuals and without feedback, blogging is sorta empty (at least it is for me)!

Thanks again to Juliet Colors for providing such great questions. And no, I didn't punch her in the face. I enjoy these interviews a lot so I hope you've enjoyed reading this. And if brevity is more your style, make sure you come back tomorrow for Six Word Saturday!

P.S. Holy crap this is long. Seriously.