Show My Face: i may scream and kill people

Showing posts with label i may scream and kill people. Show all posts

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Six Word Saturday #402

not enough creepiness in my October

Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back. Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

Saturday, October 03, 2015

Six Word Saturday

my life is full of lists

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

Saturday, June 06, 2015

Six Word Saturday

far too much happening right now

Note: I'm aware word verification is appearing before the comments. I have it disabled. It appears that if you leave the field blank, you can still enter a comment. I tried to figure it out when it first started but had no luck. I'll try again when I have some time.

Saturday, November 01, 2014

Six Word Saturday

Weather meant flight delays. Late Friday.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Six Word Saturday

going out in public today - overrated

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Six Word Saturday

can only control my own reactions

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Six Word Saturday

did you survive Friday the 13th?

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Six Word Saturday

this week, perhaps, some forward motion

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Six Word Saturday

and next week will be busier?!?!?!

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Six Word Saturday

will I ever feel caught up?

Thursday, July 26, 2012

A test for you

Don't worry, this test is multiple choice. You may begin at any time.

You are a Toyota Prius. You beep and display the "low fuel" light. Fifteen miles later, having not passed a single gas station, you start to feel desperate. Do you:

a) beep again, more urgently,
b) display a warning message that "Failure to add gas immediately may result in battery damage and a visit to the dealer,"
c) keep operating normally until you actually run out of gas and stall,
or
d) light up warnings on the dashboard for: VSC (vehicle stability control), brakes, engine, service, and wheels while emitting a high-pitched alarm and flashing "PROBLEM, PROBLEM, PROBLEM!" causing your driver to pull to the side of the road immediately, proceed down the shoulder at 15 mph to the nearest travel station, fill the tank, drive 50mph the remaining 80 miles home with no a/c (because it could be battery-related), and schedule an appointment at the dealer the next day only to be officially diagnosed with having low fuel?

Yeah, I bet you all got it right.

P.S. Stupid car.
P.P.S. The important part is that we got home safely.
P.P.P.S. It's a relief that the car did not need an expensive repair.
P.P.P.P.S. Joe has the best Toyota dealer in the world - they didn't charge us for the visit.
P.P.P.P.P.S. Stupid car.

Friday, June 08, 2012

How To Tell Cate Is Out Of Sorts

Today, a top ten list (because I promised you and more importantly I promised myself that I would blog this week so here goes).

Top Ten Reasons To Tell That Cate Is Out Of Sorts

One tweet is uber-happy, the next involves punching people or things in the face.
She doesn't return emails.
She doesn't comment on your blog.
She doesn't make the rounds for 6ws.
She doesn't post on her own blog.
She has a lot of headaches.
She takes a lot of naps.
She resurrects the Walrussian. Because she can.
She doesn't care if this list makes it to 10.

I'm working on it. Resolution is coming. I think. I hope. But mostly, I'm ok. Even if I'm not dealing well with life right now, I'm dealing with it. I'm getting out of bed each morning and finding joy here and there, even if my actions and words are all over the place. Yeah, "stable" isn't a word I would apply to myself at the moment.

Thanks for standing by me. And special thanks to awesome friends who encourage me, listen to me, distract me, and call me out on my negative actions (or, rather lack of action).

P.S. Confused? Try here. And here.

Monday, May 07, 2012

Let Me Count The Ways...

...that this past weekend's trip went very wrong. Some bigger than others.

I was sick the night before (Thursday) due to anxiety
Friday 4am wake-up call finds Joe bleeding from his belly button
I bonk my head getting in the car on the way to the airport
We arrive at destination around 11am instead of noon (my mistake) so Joe has scheduled lunch w his father for a time when I've committed to work
I can't get my personal wifi to grab a signal from the car outside the lunch restaurant so I have to go searching for wifi
I make it to lunch an hour late - they're done eating so I start shoving food in my face, at which point Joe says he needs to go to Urgent Care for the belly button
Urgent Care puts stitches in Joe to stop the bleeding
I end up very sick with a puking migraine all night (that's two nights in a row of no sleep)
Can't get out of bed in the morning due to migraine, miss planned outing w family
Visit w family spoiled by my lack of ability to sit upright (can't play w kids)
Unable to enjoy the pizza we always order when we go home
Broke the zipper on my favorite travel bag
Joe busts his new stitches while playing with nephew, bleeding more than before
Speak with on-call doctor from appendix surgeon's office back home in undisclosed location, he advises we change our flights and come home Sunday rather than Tuesday because putting in those extra stitches was the wrong thing for the Urgent Care to do
Joe doesn't sleep the entire night because he's afraid of bleeding on our hosts' sheets (that's THREE nights in a row of no sleep)
Cost to change flight - $250 per ticket, long layover
Quick farewell tour that pisses off everyone so we can head back to the airport
Layover extended due to mechanical problems on second flight
No ground crew when we arrive at final destination means even longer delay
Joe's house keys have somehow fallen into a hole in his jacket and we can't get them out to unlock the house
I get spazzed by spiders trying to dig the emergency spare key out of the hidey spot

Also? I was supposed to be working the new gig all weekend and that went to hell. I'm so glad they are understanding.

So, yeah. Not our best trip ever. There WERE good bits though and I'll maybe share those later. Or keep them for myself.

Joe will be fine but we have an appointment with the surgeon in a couple of hours. We both feel like hell physically and it sucks that we spent a boatload of money on a trip that we weren't able to enjoy and had to cut short.

But we'll survive because it's what we do. The money sucks but it won't break us. And I'm happy for the time we DID get to spend with the kids/family, even if it was short and limited because we weren't feeling well. Also, when you feel like that, you just wanna be back to your own home - we slept well last night and I already feel less stress because we're back in our own world. As I told Joe last night, now we can work on fixing it all.

Thursday, May 03, 2012

NOT What I Meant!

Apologies in advance to my Twitter pals for this post - you got this about 24 hours before it hit the blog.

While doing ALL THE THINGS yesterday, I made a call to my grandmother about our upcoming trip and then tweeted about it while also doing about four other tasks. The result?

It was only after I had tweeted (and someone retweeted) that I realized it sounded like I was giving Gramma less than a week to live. I had meant it as a correction. "No, Gramma, we were NOT there last weekend and ignored you. I'm calling because we're coming THIS weekend and would like to find a time to visit."

Twitter is dangerous - I can do a lot of damage with those 140 characters! Including handing out death sentences to grannies!

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Good Deeds

Earlier this week, I stopped into a state-operated store and had this exchange with the clerk.

clerk: Does this look like that woman there?
(shows me an id from a wallet he's digging through, points to a lady in the parking lot)
me: Maybe. It's hard to tell.
clerk: I think that's her, plus she looks like she's trying to find something.
me: She IS tearing her car apart.
clerk: Hold on, I'll be right back.
(he runs outside, the woman nods and smiles and takes the wallet, he comes back inside)
clerk: Yup, said she's been looking for it for 20 minutes.
me: Good thing you caught her!
clerk: Except she didn't give me nothin' for it. If I'd known that, I wouldn't have bothered.
me: Huh?
clerk: She said 'thank you' but she should've given me 20 bucks or something. I should've kept it.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he's a state employee paid with that woman's tax dollars. But he should've kept her wallet. So much for doing a good deed just for the sake of being a decent human being.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Answering 21 Questions

This is the second part of last week's post.

I tweeted the following:

Let's do this - you ask me some questions, I'll answer them in tomorrow's post. Anything you like. You have 30 minutes.

I answered the two reasonable questions from normal people last Tuesday. Which leaves for today the twenty one questions asked by my "friend" Sarah. She saw my tweet as a challenge and she rose to the occasion. Since I promised (and she seemed fine with me dragging them out a bit), here are my answers to the random questions she came up with.

How many apples can you balance on your forehead at once?

I'm going to guess one. I didn't have any apples handy to try but I was able to balance one cell phone and all the cat hair you can eat on my forehead.

What is the first book you chose to read more than once- not including Dr. Suess. That's too easy.

Probably Anne of Green Gables.

What tv show have you watched the most episodes of?

I watched the entire series of Lost. And all seven or eight seasons of 24. Most recently, I'm up to the middle of Season 6 of How I Met Your Mother, which I only started about two months ago.

If you were trapped on a desert island, and could have any man- other than Joe- there with you, how long before you killed him?

However long it took for him to kill all spiders/creepy crawlies plus about three seconds.

Why are pin cushions shaped like tomatoes with a strawberry? And is it a strawberry or a pepper? There's debate on that, here.

First, it's definitely a strawberry. I'm not as sure on the "why" but I imagine whoever made the first pin cushion had leftover red fabric which is why we got a tomato instead of a lemon or lime.

How would you fill in the blank: "I like my coffee like I like my _____."?

Oxygen. (aka: always available)

What is your secret method for keeping cut flowers alive?

I keep that method secret even from me. My secret is to replace them frequently.

What do monkeys and mammoths have in common?

Both look adorable in little bowties and top hats.

If one of them had to disappear, PBS or NPR?

PBS. Only because I'm currently obsessed with StoryCorps on NPR.

How often do you turn your camera horizontally when doing art photography?

24.7% of the time.

Should leather jackets be pink or teal?

No.

Should shirts have words printed on them?

Not in public.

What's the worst thing (you're going to have to work hard on this one) about not being in an office setting anymore?

I have to pay for my own coffee.

Mechanical or wood?

Mechanical for writing. Wood for drawing/sketching.

What's the best pickup line you've ever used?

Maybe you've been eaten here before.

Kathy Griffin- with or without bangs?

I prefer my Kathy Griffin with Anderson Cooper. Bangs optional.

What kind of accents do accent walls have?

Croatian.

When are rose petals "too much"?

When they turn moldy and start to smell bad.

What is too old for long hair? For dudes, specifically.

I prefer my men with fairly short hair. I'm going to go with thirteen.

When is the last time you were pleased with a candid photo of yourself?

Two years ago.

What's the best time of day to stop drinking?

Probably BEFORE I open myself up to thirty minutes of questions on Twitter.

NAILED IT!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Some Random Stuff

I have friends who participate in a Random Tuesday post. And then I was tagged over at Torizworld. While I'm not always responsive to tagging, I had a whole lot of nothing for today so I'm gonna go with it as an opportunity to share some of the little things bouncing around in my head that haven't been worth an entire post.

Eleven Random Things About Me: (aka the small stuff that isn't necessarily small or at all related to each other)

1. This morning, I woke up to discover a friend request on FB from a convicted murderer sitting on death row. I accepted. And then I spent two hours reading about the denials for a new trial and appeals and lost untested evidence and circumstantial evidence. I spent that time mourning for his family - I was 13 at the time he was arrested for murdering his estranged wife and her boyfriend. He left behind four children younger than me and they continue to go into debt to seek a new trial for their father. They (and I, for what it's worth) believe in his innocence and they've spent the last 17 years missing their dad. Sad as hell.

2. I told my grandmother that Joe is excited about going to India for work. Five minutes later, she said "where's he going in Chile?" No, Gramma, not Chile. India. "Oh, I always confuse them because they're so close to each other." Huh?

3. I told my parents that Joe is excited about going to India for work. "Why?" Why is he going for work? "No, why would he be excited about it."

4. In looking up tourist attractions for his trip (not that he's going to have much time for that kind of thing), we came across the Art of Living Center. Wow, is their Bangalore ashram ever beautiful. Anyone have any experience with this organization? They're non-denominational and seem to do some really interesting things. They have programs everywhere, including my undisclosed location, and I'm considering their intro course about meditation next month.

5. Next month. Is almost here. How did that happen already?

6. I haven't reported on the kitties in awhile. They haven't been interested in blogging because they seem to be hibernating for the winter. Tonya's had a nice spring in her step lately and we made a resolution for Rusty that he wouldn't poo outside the box anymore. So far, he's "only" done it three times, which is, sadly, a huge improvement.

7. I mentioned on Saturday that the new routine is kinda working. I'm still falling short of things every day, but overall there is progress. I even managed to spend some time yesterday brainstorming some edits for a story.

8. My sister took pictures of my nephew, staged to look like mugshots. I don't think she should encourage that. Kid is a (completely awesome) terror. I don't dare ask what crime was committed.

9. I had a dream last night about a baby. Her name was Paige. I'm pretty sure that had more to do with caring for a book (Paige = page) than it did with an actual baby. Right?!?!

10. If anyone ever tells you that Mary Karr's The Liars' Club is a funny book? They are lying.

11. Is it Spring yet? I don't mind the temperatures and I wouldn't even mind some snow. But I do mind how gloomy everything looks right now.

So, that's eleven. I'm also supposed to answer eleven questions and tag some people. I'm not going to do that because this is already long. And also because it's my blog and you can't make me.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Poor Planning

Some background on the voices in my head: (Feel free to skip ahead if you already know me well.)

One of my most effective tools for decreasing my anxiety involves lists. Copious amounts of lists. I use Google tasks and the lists sync to my new phone beautifully, which allows me to take my list-neurosis to a whole new level. I'm currently keeping 17 lists (one for each day of the week, a weekly list of cleaning tasks, a monthly cleaning list, my rx meds, a shopping list, house projects, blog ideas...).

So yes, I'm a bit of a planner. I don't need a minute by minute agenda but I worry much less when I can look at the next week and figure out what day I need to take care of certain things. This works great in reducing my anxiety, though it does mean it throws me for a bit of a loop when something unexpected comes up. But, who am I kidding - surprises ALWAYS bring on a certain amount of anxiety for me. At least this way I'm organized.

The issue:

All of which is the background necessary to understand why my brother-in-law causes me so much stress. He is NOT a planner. Our trip "home" in May involved much pulling of teeth in order to get him to commit to a weekend he would be available so we could book the trip. And then nailing down a time to get together?!?! It would be easier to negotiate world peace.

But that was then, and this is now. I noticed on his Facebook status last Saturday that BIL and his family had driven 15 hours from their home, passing within 30 miles of us, to spend 4th of July with his wife's family in a somewhat beachier city south of my undisclosed location. At first, I was a bit miffed on behalf of my husband that they weren't stopping to see us. And then I realized - it would be SO like my BIL to decide he was stopping in on the way back with very little advance notice.

Ding ding ding!!! Sure enough, on Monday night BIL sent Joe a text that he wanted to stop in to see us later this week before arriving back in NY on Saturday. When would we be available? Let's see - no advance notice, the week of a holiday. Joe's team of six at work is down to three because half the team is on vacation. So not only can he not take unannounced time off but he's working even more than usual (if that's possible) to cover for everyone else being out.

There was much back and forth. The only time Joe could really be available was either for dinners or on Friday afternoon (his company typically closes shop during the summer at noon, which just means they turn off the air conditioning so you have to go home to work). Friday was too late in the week for them so BIL committed to Wednesday night. Or Thursday night. One of those. Probably Thursday. Unless they decide to leave earlier.

And that's where we're at now. They may be here tonight. Or tomorrow night. They may or may not stay over. It's possible he may or may not have brought his two poorly-behaved black labs with him. No, he won't likely give us the courtesy of letting us know before he gets on the road. I wouldn't be surprised at all to hear from him at 5:30 tonight asking what exit to take because he's just hit our city limits and can't remember.

Yay, family. Yay free spirits. Yay aimless wanderers.

Screw that. Yay for lists! Yay for common courtesy! Yay for advance notice!

I'll be the frantic girl trying to get the house completely ready in case they do show up tonight. On the plus side, my house will be clean and I should be able to spend the next couple of days doing less work and more enjoyable things.

Like optimizing my lists.

P.S. I've been working hard at this whole "positive attitude" thing lately. And it's going well. But I think I still need to be able to cut loose in my blog. Otherwise, my head may explode. It's a proven scientific fact.

P.S. I almost failed the last science class I took. True story.

Friday, April 15, 2011

This Book Stinks

No, really, it does. I first discovered the Kinsey Millhone (A is for Alibi) series back in college. And since I was poor, I often bought the books on Ebay. I don't own the entire collection since I picked up a few at the local library.

However, I own "I is for Innocent". I'm sure it was an Ebay purchase. And I'm sure I never read this physical copy of the book (it was probably part of a lot sale) because ugh. It stinks. Literally. By which I actually mean literally as opposed to people who say literally and have no idea what that means. The book smells awful. It's also very yellow. And the pages are falling out as I read it.

So while the story may be fine, the book stinks. My hands also stink after I spend time reading it. This is why I super-value items that come from a non-smoking home. Yuck.

Also, if YOU value items from a non-smoking home, come to my undisclosed location tomorrow to buy my junk. Seems the lady in the neighborhood that offered to place the ads decided to completely disregard the whole "Saturday, with a rain date of Sunday" thing. Instead she placed them all as "Saturday, rain or shine!" because turns out she's not available on Sunday. I'm tempted to earn the reputation of "Neighbor Who Punches Stupid People In The Face." This is why I'm a control-freak and I insist on doing everything myself.

And now, I'm off to plug my nose and read my book, even though it stinks.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Punch in the Pain-Related Awards

Screw the flowery opening - let's just get to it, shall we?

Dear Medco,

If you don't soon figure things out and send me my no-baby pills yesterday, I am going to send you my first born when I get knocked up because you won't provide my birth control. I have been fighting with you for MONTHS now on the timing, which has put us into this horrible cycle of you won't send them in time so I have to refill them locally (which costs me more) and therefore you move the fill date out even further. And I'm sick of it. SICK SICK SICK.

Perhaps you don't understand how birth control works. Let me explain it to you. I need the new pills on March 6th. Mailing them on March 10th? That doesn't work. That just gets me pregnant. Having your automated male voice call to tell me you aren't sending my pills on time just REALLY cheeses me off. I'm not one to generalize and hate on all men, but you are really pushing my buttons.

You fail at math, you fail at prescriptions, you fail at customer service, and you fail at life.

Hope you have access to pain meds for when you receive this award,

Dear Thing Outside That Sounds Like a Dying Animal,

Judging from that noise, you must be a very large beasty, perhaps the lovechild of a rhinoceros and a donkey. Or perhaps you are some sort of construction equipment. Whatever the case may be, I feel bad but I must admit that I wish you would just hurry up and die already so I don't have to listen to it anymore.

I have a headache,

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Saturday, October 03, 2015

Saturday, June 06, 2015

Saturday, November 01, 2014

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Friday, June 08, 2012

Monday, May 07, 2012

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Friday, April 15, 2011

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

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