Doctor's rounds, Part 1

Recently, I went to see my gynecologist.

That sound you heard was my two male readers running away... Seriously, I'm not going to share TMI. Though I did live-tweet my visit. Complete with a photo of "completely undressed" me in the exam room. See what you miss if you don't follow me on Twitter?

Anyways, my new primary care doctor, as I mentioned before, is trying to straighten out my migraines, which involves a new medicine that decreases the effectiveness of my birth control pills so I was discussing alternate baby-preventative methods with the gynecologist. After my appointment, I had the following conversation via text with Joe, aka my husband (that tidbit of information for the benefit of anyone who might be new here and think I might have this conversation with Joe, the guy who mows my lawn or Joe, the guy who does our taxes):

me: talked to the doc about the BCP situation
Joe: what did she say?
me: she agrees they won't work as well
Joe: and?
me: she recommends I get a DUI
Joe: wtf?
me: yeah, not sure how i feel about that
Joe: she really recommended that?
me: i know. i hate the idea. my sister had one, she was miserable
long pause
Joe: i'm sure
me: she gave me a pamphlet, they recommend them after you already have a kid usually
Joe: haha, i bet they do
me: there can be a lot of complications and discomfort
Joe: uh huh
me: ???
Joe: look at what you sent me
me: huh?
Joe: look back
me: dammit!!!!
Joe: that must be some dr you're seeing!

Spellcheck can seriously bite me. My doctor did NOT recommend that I be arrested for drunk driving. She recommended an IUD as an alternate method of birth control. Which I'm not sure about. Also not sure that the migraine meds are working at this point so I'm not rushing into a 5-yr implanted birth control solution when a temporary one will do just fine until we're more sure these meds are a long-term thing.

Also, to be clear, my sister had an IUD, not a DUI. She doesn't even drink. Not that any of you know my sister or that my sister reads this blog. But, you know, I still feel the need to clarify.

P.S. Want to know how to transition into twice a week posting? Write one really long post, realize it's really long, and then just make it a two-parter. You can consider that piece of amazing advice yours for free.

Four days out of five

Four days out of five. That might be a new migraine record for me. I don't know how Tuesday (Wednesday?) managed to be pain-free but the rest of the week has made up for it.

The problem with migraines is that it makes doing things with your head both easier and harder at the same time. For example - your eyes detect every hint of light and it hurts. All sounds are super loud and they hurt. The pleasant smell of a flower fills your nose until you feel like your entire world is overrun by this smell and it HURTS.

And let's not talk about thinking. It seems like the human brain should be able to make connections regardless of headaches. Headaches are physical, right? How can thinking hurt?

Trust me, it can. It can hurt a lot. And there's a definite difference between the pain felt when I stare at the wall versus the pain felt when I try to think.

All of this is quite inconvenient when you're trying to work and your work involves seeing and thinking. Not so much smelling or hearing but those things can make the others even worse.

But the good news is that FINALLY the pain seems to have lifted. I can think again! I can smell and see and hear at appropriate levels!

Now let's just hope it stays that way...

It's time

I know I've said it before but this time feels different.

Today, I went to see a new doctor because my previous primary care doctor sucked. Her treatment was so hands-off and old-fashioned. She was great for handing out prescriptions for quick fixes but when I asked to come off a medication or tried to get her to discuss my weight, she had no interest. 

So, new doctor. This one spoke with me at length about my concerns and my medications. She gave me a plan to come off the one med, agreeing that it may have caused my weight gain and could be complicating weight loss. We talked about my frustration at not getting results when I've worked out hard and counted every calorie. She didn't give me magic solutions but she was encouraging. We discussed my anxiety. She also ordered up enough tests to drain half my blood - my old doctor wouldn't order even standard tests.

Another big difference between doctors is access to my information. Here's an example:

me: What's my blood pressure?
old doctor: It's fine.
me: Yes, but what is it?
old doctor: Totally within range, maybe a little low.
me: What's the actual reading?
old doctor: 114/72.

Today? 

me: What's my blood pressure?
new doctor: It's 114/72. That and all of your other info from today is available to you by logging in through our website.

And it was all available. Weight, blood pressure, heart rate. Medications ordered and where (local vs mail order) with links for more information. I also got printouts of our plan for my weight.

I go back on Nov. 30 to see how a new medicine is working for my migraines (they've been bad lately). Today's appointment didn't really tell me anything new but I feel like I have reassurance now from the doctor that I should and can move forward. And I'm determined to do it.

Watch out, world, because I'm about to get my sh*t together.

Her Name is Stephanie

I'm going to blame a migraine for this conversation but I do a lot of this sort of thing.

me: Hi, I have an appointment for next week that I'd like to move up if possible. I believe my stylist's name is Stephanie.
chick on phone: We don't have any stylist named Stephanie here.
me: Anyone named something similar to Stephanie?
chick on phone: We have a Shea. And a Simone.
me: Can you look me up? My name is Cate blahblahblah.
chick on phone: Ok, sure. (pause) Your stylist's name is Nicole.
me: Yeah, that's it! Just like Stephanie!

And over the weekend, we were trying to find the packet pick-up location for Joe's race. He was driving, I was navigating (bad idea).

me: It should be up here, on the left. The street starts with a B - I'll recognize it when I see it.
Joe: Ok, let me know.
me: If we reach the memorial, we've gone too far.
Joe: This is the memorial, guess I'll u-turn. What street are we looking for?
me: It starts with a B. Take the first right, that must be it.
Joe: Ok.
me: Yeah, this isn't it. It must be off this street. Keep looking for a street starting with B.
Joe: I think we should pull over and check the map. It shouldn't be this far.
me: Fine!
Joe: (he checks the address in the confirmation email) It's on Mustian Street.
me: Yes, that's it!
Joe: Mustian doesn't start with a B.
me: Whatever. I was close.
Joe: No, not really.

Seriously, me? Lame. Actually, I blame Joe for that one. He should know better than to trust me for directions. And hopefully "Stephanie" is better at remembering my haircut request than I am at remembering her name. Oops.

Formality

We stayed with one of Joe's cousins while in Houston. His cousin's name is also Joe, because despite approximately 19 male cousins (this is not an exaggeration - think large Irish Catholic family), there are only about five acceptable names. This leads to a lot of overlap and so they must find ways to distinguish between people, especially for the kids.

Apparently in this case, Joe's cousin decided to introduce my Joe (see, it's confusing already!) by both his first and last name. The six-year-old boy caught onto that immediately. "Hi, JoeJohnston, my name's JimMurphy." And for the rest of the weekend, and forevermore, I have decided I will always call my husband JoeJohnston. It's all one word, sort of like when Phil on "Amazing Race" talks about "aracearoundtheworld." Are you leaving today, JoeJohnston? Can I sit by you, JoeJohnston? Goodbye, JoeJohnston! Listen to me count to one hundred, JoeJohnston, without even getting tired! I think JoeJohnston is at the door!

Little JimMurphy is a bit on the wild side. He's the child we will remember for singing "Crazy Train" at the top of his lungs during breakfast. He's also the child that literally set fire to their house by playing with matches. (This was before we visited - nobody was injured but there was a lot of damage.) I mean, you always hear about kids starting fires by playing with matches but have you ever actually known of a case where that happened? Because after meeting JimMurphy, suddenly it seems VERY plausible. And it was also fitting that JimMurphy became so possessive of JoeJohnston, since JoeJohnston himself has done community service at the fire station for an incident involving bottle rockets and a dry field.

But JimMurphy is a good kid. He comes with a twin sister who claimed me as HER Cate. Twins, I can't escape them. It's always reassuring to me when youngsters seem to like me. I'm just not sure if it's reassuring that I might some day be good with a kid of my own or if it's just reassuring me that I'm right in thinking most children have very bad judgment. Either way, the whole herd of kids was a blast to be around the entire weekend and a lot of our best memories from Houston will be associated with the 12 and under crowd.

And, by the way, I am CateJoeJohnston. Pleased to meet you.

This Book Stinks

No, really, it does. I first discovered the Kinsey Millhone (A is for Alibi) series back in college. And since I was poor, I often bought the books on Ebay. I don't own the entire collection since I picked up a few at the local library.

However, I own "I is for Innocent". I'm sure it was an Ebay purchase. And I'm sure I never read this physical copy of the book (it was probably part of a lot sale) because ugh. It stinks. Literally. By which I actually mean literally as opposed to people who say literally and have no idea what that means. The book smells awful. It's also very yellow. And the pages are falling out as I read it.

So while the story may be fine, the book stinks. My hands also stink after I spend time reading it. This is why I super-value items that come from a non-smoking home. Yuck.

Also, if YOU value items from a non-smoking home, come to my undisclosed location tomorrow to buy my junk. Seems the lady in the neighborhood that offered to place the ads decided to completely disregard the whole "Saturday, with a rain date of Sunday" thing. Instead she placed them all as "Saturday, rain or shine!" because turns out she's not available on Sunday. I'm tempted to earn the reputation of "Neighbor Who Punches Stupid People In The Face." This is why I'm a control-freak and I insist on doing everything myself.

And now, I'm off to plug my nose and read my book, even though it stinks.