Six Word Saturday

The roller coaster's name: atypical depression.

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Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

Six Word Saturday

huge difference from a week ago

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Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

Six Word Saturday

missed deadline means working on Saturday

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Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" ></a>

Doctor's rounds, Part 2

Friday, I went to see my primary care doctor about my new migraine meds.

doctor: So how does it seem to be going?
me: Ok I guess, except I might be having an allergic reaction, I'm not sure.
doctor: What are your symptoms?
me: See here? My neck is all red and itchy. I want to claw my skin off.
doctor, looking: It's just here?
me: Yes.
doctor: I think that's not allergies. I think you have a yeast infection.
me: On my neck?
doctor: Yes.
me: I'm not that kind of girl.
doctor: What?
me: I mean, I support gay rights. There's nothing wrong with that.
doctor: How in the world do you think you get yeast infections? No, I don't want to know.
me: How DID I get it?
doctor: Yeast infections on the skin are common from moisture and sweat.
me: Oh.
doctor: Now that you go to the gym more, it can be from that.
me: So I got a yeast infection from the gym.
doctor: Not exactly.
me: But kind of.
doctor: *sigh* You should stop talking. I will prescribe pills and a cream.
me: And those super secret magic weight loss pills doctors say don't exist so I can stop going to the gym since I tried and got a yeast infection there?
doctor: No.
me: Worth a shot. I mean, haven't I been punished enough?

The good news is that while I was dealing with this whole allergy-that-was-really-a-yeast-infection on my neck, it was scarf weather so I could totally hide the infestation going on. Except turns out that was just keeping things warm and moist and making it worse. Also, now all my scarves are probably covered in ick.

Note to self: wash all scarves. Twice.

Come back next week when I post some more about sweat and the gym. Isn't this blog just the greatest?!?!

La Cucaracha

This happened yesterday morning while Joe was still other-coasting it for work.

me: Can our pest control do anything about cockroaches?
Joe: Ugh, another one?
me: Yeah, in the downstairs bathroom sink. I went in to check my face quick before I left and it was in there looking at me.
Joe: I'm sorry, I'll call tomorrow. What did you do?
me: I put on some water.
Joe: You mean, you sat down and had tea?
me: No, ew, I don't drink tea.
Joe: I don't follow.
me: I put on some water. Got it all boiling hot. Poured it down the sink. Goodbye Mr. Bug!
Joe: Seriously?
me: Seriously.
Joe: Why didn't you just squish it?
me: Ewww. That's even nastier than drinking tea.

Bugs should not be allowed to invade the house ever, but especially not when husbands are away.

P.S. Generally, I'm a non-violent person, even to bugs, (in practice anyways, not so much in words) but creepy bugs inside my house don't belong there. And if Joe's not home to catch and release, I do what I have to do to protect me and my kitties.

How To Tell Cate Is Out Of Sorts

Today, a top ten list (because I promised you and more importantly I promised myself that I would blog this week so here goes).

Top Ten Reasons To Tell That Cate Is Out Of Sorts

1. One tweet is uber-happy, the next involves punching people or things in the face.
2. She doesn't return emails.
3. She doesn't comment on your blog.
4. She doesn't make the rounds for 6ws.
5. She doesn't post on her own blog.
6. She has a lot of headaches.
7. She takes a lot of naps.
8. She resurrects the Walrussian. Because she can. 
9. She doesn't care if this list makes it to 10.

I'm working on it. Resolution is coming. I think. I hope. But mostly, I'm ok. Even if I'm not dealing well with life right now, I'm dealing with it. I'm getting out of bed each morning and finding joy here and there, even if my actions and words are all over the place. Yeah, "stable" isn't a word I would apply to myself at the moment. 

Thanks for standing by me. And special thanks to awesome friends who encourage me, listen to me, distract me, and call me out on my negative actions (or, rather lack of action).

P.S. Confused? Try here. And here.

Six Word Saturday

moving forward despite having no answers

Aka: Nothing that has been stressing me for the last few weeks has been resolved but I'm learning to function in the state of not-knowing. This week, I intend to blog.

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Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

How I Gave Christmas the Finger

To catch up on the past month or so of my life, it's involved Joe turning down a job, Joe's rebellious appendix, and my stomach virus. The longer version can be found here in this handy post from last week.

My six words this weekend were "busy making up for lost time" - and we were doing an amazing job. Yesterday morning, while Joe went for a massage (I had mine on Saturday), I was finishing up some Christmas gifts for the family. Beautiful ruffled scarves that are so easy to make - cut the fabric, run them through the sewing machine twice (straight lines), then pull the bottom thread.

Except somehow, on scarf #2, it all went very wrong. Feel free to skip the next paragraph if you are the cringe-y type.

CRINGE WARNING: I managed to stick my left index finger under the sewing needle as it was running. The needle went twice through the nail before it broke and I got the machine stopped. Then there was a lot of bleeding and sobbing and swearing. When Joe returned home from his massage, we decided it was best to go to the urgent care because we couldn't find part of the needle and we were afraid it might still be in my finger.

CRINGING OVER!

They did an x-ray to be sure there was no bone fracture and no needle still in my finger (all clear!) and then cleaned things up for me and sent me on my way. My finger is in what they call a "froggy" - it's a metal and foam splint that wraps around your finger, mostly to keep me from smashing it into things. And they wrapped the tip of the finger in a bandaid.





Yes, that IS Daffy Duck. Jealous? The nurse wanted to use that size and that's the only one she had. I'm totally rocking it. Once the nail regrows (no picture of that - it's kinda gross), everything should be just fine.

And that's the story of how I gave Christmas the finger. Or maybe how Christmas gave ME the finger.

P.S. I was so mad at myself that I came home and finished all four scarves. Screw you, sewing machine!

P.P.S. I'm SO over all of this drama.

P.P.P.S. Typing is hard without that finger. I probably won't be commenting on many 6WS posts again this week.

Where's Cate?

I haven't been blogging much lately and while I don't really feel like I owe an explanation (it's MY blog!), I'm going to give one. Mostly because I need to reflect a bit.

The week before Thanksgiving, we were all wrapped up in Joe's possible job offer. Which he ended up turning down.

The week of Thanksgiving, Joe had an emergency appendectomy.

The week after Thanksgiving, Joe was still recuperating and we were slowly returning to normal.

Last week, I got a nasty stomach virus, which put me in the hospital with dehydration, and then afterwards I was (and still sorta am) dealing with the remnants of the stomach virus.

Which brings us to this week.

I'm still having some virus-related issues and I'm exhausted.

I'm completely behind on my holiday plans, which involved making a lot of gifts because that's more thoughtful than placing Amazon orders off wish lists. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just that it's not what I wanted to do this year. Only, since I lost the better part of 4 weeks, I'm running out of time. So last night we went shopping at Ten Thousand Villages and took care of most of the gifts we needed to buy. It seemed like a great compromise between buying plastic crap and just making charitable donations in our families' names since they are selfish bitches who want presents, dammit will not get a gift and we've supported fair trade and people in developing countries.

But mostly what I'm dealing with right now is a ridiculous amount of anxiety relating to medical bills. I'm glad we have access to healthcare. I'm glad we have insurance. I'm glad Joe and I are both recovering from our unrelated ailments. I'm glad he's made smart financial decisions that mean we'll be able to set up a payment plan and be okay. Still, realizing how much we might end up owing with both of us being sick within 2 weeks of each other is causing a big huge mental funk. Add to that the usual depression I feel around the holidays and my mind is a bit of a mess.

So where's Cate? I'm here, but I'm struggling. I'm getting through each day the only way I know how - a mix of working furiously through my to-do lists and hiding under the blankets. I haven't been blogging. I didn't visit any 6WS posts this week. I'm having trouble finding the joy of the season.

That's where Cate is right now. On the edge but hanging on with all her might. And talking about herself in the third person.

Why did I share this? It's not that I want a million comments full of pats on the head and sympathy. I just want to serve as a gentle reminder that there are people out there right now who are fighting. Depression this time of year - between the weather, lack of daylight, and holiday expectations - is a big deal. If you're suffering from it, know you are not alone and we WILL get through it. If you're fortunate enough to not be suffering a down time, you can do two things for me: be grateful for your blessings and be kind to those around you because we may not all be feeling so blessed.

Thursday Thoughts

Thursday again and no post all week. Awesome. So consider this my take on whatever random or fragments meme you're familiar with because I plan on just dumping out a bunch of random thoughts and updates.

1. Tonya's Dental Appointment - She did well on Tuesday, though she had to have a couple of teeth removed. This means two items of immediate concern. First, she now needs two meds twice a day. The one is pain medication and lasts only four days. The second is antibiotics that last seven days. One is liquid in a dropper, the other is gel in an oral syringe. It's going... okay. I mean, not only is she a cat, but she's also Tonya, so it's not going to be hassle-free. The second concern was the bill, which ended up being completely atrocious. It was high enough before the extractions and related meds. Which leads me to thought #2...

2. Jobs = Cash - For a million reasons, like everyone else on the planet, more cash would be good. We're doing okay since I left my job late last year and haven't touched our savings, but some of these expenses (Tonya's teeth, a trip we should take home, Christmas etc) are stressing me out. I'm desperately applying for all kinds of freelancing jobs, hoping to avoid the anxiety that seasonal retail is sure to cause.

3. My Parents - They were here roughly 48 hours. Dad wasn't feeling well but my mother was completely on her game. By which I mean she kept me a complete mess the entire time. I feel a post brewing about delighting in ignorance and being close-minded.

4. I'm Angry and Depressed and Anxious - Maybe I should've started with this one. The perfect storm of events have occurred this week to have me on edge. It's been a long time since I've felt such prolonged anxiety. I'm finding myself frustrated and angry, except when I'm feeling too depressed to give a damn about much of anything. There have been a few bright spots (I had a good time last night at a writing class) but mostly I'm feeling low and pointless. This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said "October 1st: serious awesomeness starts today."

In a related story, it is now October 13th and those goals that I started working towards almost two weeks ago are barely moving, if I've gotten them off the ground at all. I'm hoping to break this funk and start making some serious progress.

I'll be okay. I tried to end this on a more positive note but I can't seem to get there. The most positive thing I can say is that I know from previous experience that this down feeling doesn't last forever. In the meantime, I'll keep making a conscious effort to see the good around me until it comes a bit more naturally again.

If you've made it this far and feel inclined to leave a comment, how about leaving me a funny joke, silly story, or a link to something that will make me laugh and/or feel good about the world? I could use some of that.