Celebrate!

Mark this date on your calendar! Ok, actually, mark yesterday's date on your calendar. That's the day I hit 100 followers! Wait, I haven't hit any followers. At least not on purpose. I maybe threaten to punch a few in the face from time to time but I haven't done it yet. (Donnetta, your day is still coming for cheating on Six Word Saturday).

Anyways, I remember chatting with SomeMonkey about reaching just ten followers. What a milestone! And now, C. Beth is my 100th. Somehow that makes me unnaturally happy because she's probably one of the very first blogs I started following.  She declined her prize as 100th follower, by the way. Seems she wasn't interested in all the cat hair she could eat. Tonya is going to feel so shunned.

I planned to have a celebration of some sort when I achieved the magic number but with all the phoning it in and walruses around here lately, I didn't expect to be gaining followers in the last week.

But yet, here you are. And here I am. Also, I'm writing this the night before, like I usually do. And since I'm not sure where this post is going, I thought I'd just finish it tomorrow. But Twitter will not be ignored and so I finish it now, despite a large number of drinks. (I guess I'm drinking my week's allotment all at once on a work night because the dr gave me new meds to start tomorrow that mean no drinking for 7 days).

Lora posed a question on Twitter that I don't have a good answer to (oh, man, I ended that sentence on a preposition - I seriously try not to do that). Anyways, she asked "Would you follow yourself on twitter? Would you read your own blog? I mean, if you didn't know you? Do you read your archives?". Yeah, I don't know. I think I'd read me but some days I'd ignore me because I'm obnoxious or whiny. But other times I'd laugh at me because I'm obnoxious. My actual response said something like "some day I expect my archives will scare the hell out of me".

Which all reminds me of one of the nicest blog-related compliments I've ever received. It was early on and came from one of the very few readers of this blog that I knew before I started writing here.  SisterFriend once said to me "even if i didnt know you i'd read your blog. me likey". That makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

In some ways, I feel like the 100th follower is bigger than the number of posts I've written. I could write 50 posts each day and if nobody gives a stamp of approval by following, it's kind of worthless. During a time when I'm struggling with a lot of internal issues, in turn fighting with my self-worth, I just want to say thank you to the hundred of you that follow. And those of you subscribe in other ways that don't follow. And those of you that visit occasionally all on your own.

This blog has become something I didn't expect, in both good ways and bad.  I have taken to putting most of my deep dark moments elsewhere even though that was my original intent for here.  While this is somewhat written for an audience most of the time, I still have my very personal quiet outlets.  And the relationships I've forged and enjoyment I've received from writing, reading, and commenting (as well as tweeting) has far surpassed my initial dreams.

Yeah, you can thank the Twitter-voters who decided I should BUI (Blog Under the Influence) for the extra sap and mush. But you can thank all of you for deserving it. Here's to 100 more!  Or, if all 100 of you leave me tomorrow, I'll probably still keep blogging, posting to the voices in my head.  And expecting answers.