Sweaty Seppuku

I've blogged before about my gym, including my freakout when they announced a move to a new location because I was afraid there would no longer be a dark workout room.

For those of you who don't remember and/or are too lazy to click that link, my gym has a "cardio getaway" room that involves several levels of cardio equipment, a few tvs on the front wall (pre-tuned, you can plug-in to listen but you can't change the channels), and no light. Well, not NO light. But no BRIGHT lights - it's all just ambient light from the tvs and some windows. And they did eventually create a similar room at the new location.

Anyways, I have been timing my trips to the gym for 11am so I could workout while watching Tiny Drew because The Price is Right is kinda fast-paced with bright lights, and it's easy to watch while sweating on the elliptical for an hour. It also continuously humbles me because I would be the worst contestant ever. But then, someone in the control booth changed around the channels and there was no longer TPIR on tv #1. Instead, I had a choice of two sports channels, Comedy Central (which is always in the middle of a movie at that hour), Bravo, CNN, and Fox "News".

Ugh, seriously? Fox "News"? Not only do they take away my Tiny Drew but they have to put Fox "News" on tv #5.

I found myself watching either tv #2 (Bravo) or #6 (CNN), trying hard to avert my eyes from the ickiness on tv #5. In fact, I was watching some show about starving bitches America's Next Top Model last week when suddenly there was a horrible CRASH and something came FLYING OFF THE WALL!!!

Since this room is usually so quiet (just the whir of the machines while everyone works out with headphones on), the crash and resulting obscenities shouted by the other lady in the room made quite an impression. I, of course, with my nerves of steel, may have peed myself a bit barely reacted.

So what was the noise? Seems tv #5 was shared my anti-Fox "News" feelings and decided that rather than continue displaying such atrocious programming, it would commit harikiri, hurling the cable tuner box from the top of the tv onto the floor below.

Despite my usual annoyance at the sight of non-functioning equipment at the gym, considering how much they charge for membership, I must admit to a big grin every time I see the dark tv #5. I may stop by the front desk to ask when they expect it to be fixed. And maybe suggest that they use that opportunity to restore Tiny Drew to avoid any further fatalities.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

September 11th - I still haven't forgotten

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit. That way, everyone has equal chance. In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Political Evil

Last week, I actually answered the phone even though the caller id displayed a number I didn't recognize. Almost always a mistake. This time, they were conducting a survey regarding an local election and since I was avoiding my advertising assignment was taking a brief break, I agreed to participate.

The first question wanted to know my registered voting affiliation, Republican or Democrat. Nope! Independent.

Next she asked if I was familiar with the candidates running for whatever office in this here district. I said no. Hey, I'm not going to lie!

The next question(s) wanted me to say the first thing that comes to mind when she read me the names of the two candidates. Which, of course, I've slightly camouflaged here to protect the innocent my undisclosed location.

First up: Graydon Carson.
Response: Sounds like a stage name.

The opponent: Keith Pinion.
Response: Pinion makes me think of minion so maybe he's evil.

There was a definite pause at that point.

When she finally continued, I tried to be not quite so free-thinking in my honesty but lucky for us both most of the remaining questions required number answers. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least likely and 10 being the most likely, how would I rate the following statements. Boring! And since I know nothing about either, I'll admit I answered almost every one of these with a 5.

The last bit used the same scale of 1 to 10 but my response was to indicate how that statement would influence my likeliness to vote for that candidate. There were a lot of these but I'll just share my two favorites, which came near the middle of the list, one right after the other:

1. Keith Pinion continued to strongly support (some corrupt political guy) even after he was charged and then admitted to his role in (some really evil plot to bring down the universe).
2. Graydon Carson loves trees.

Seriously. So I guess I was right in thinking that Pinion = minion and evil. And after a bit of post-call research, turns out it also means Republican. Draw your own conclusions. ;)

As you can see, my opinion really helped them a lot. I'm sure my valuable input will really help shape the campaign and conduct of the candidates in question.

P.S. I actually take my voting very seriously. Before voting in any election, I do some research and make an informed decision rather than casting votes based on just party affiliation or random word association. Because THAT only works when picking my NCAA tourney brackets.

Mother's Day

This is not my favorite hallmarkday so I'm going to keep it brief.

To those wonderful mothers out there, I hope you have a lovely day and feel very appreciated.

To those of you who have great mothers, don't take that for granted. Not everyone does.

For those who want to be mothers, I hope your dreams come true, one way or another.

For those of you with difficult mother-situations, know that you are not alone. So knock back some tequila and celebrate yourself. Because once you drink enough tequila and you're upside-down on the floor, you'll realize that "mom" upside down is "wow". And that's awesome.

World Peace at the Olympics

The Olympics are a big International event. A gathering of nations for a few friendly games.

And a wasted opportunity.

Imagine how much different the games would be if instead of competing against each other, countries played along-side each other?

I'm not saying the act of pairing athletes from North and South Korea on a curling team would bring peace between the countries. And I don't think the situation in the Middle East is going to be repaired by putting a couple of guys in a bobsled together.

But why not let them play games and have fun instead of all of the one-up-manship? And how about instead of speed skating, they do something like have a snowman-making competition. Or they could create forts! Snow angels? I'd suggest a snowball fight but that might turn ugly.

Any other suggestions for making the Olympics focus more on working together instead of competing against each other?

P.S. In the spirit of the games, I hosted the enemy neighbors from the North for dinner last night. Two Canadians. And I totally resisted the temptation to have "Go Team USA Hockey" written on a cake.
P.P.S. Or "Canada: Champion of Hockey Curling".
P.P.P.S. They were actually pretty nice. For Canadians. Even if they DO say "aboot".

President's Day

For some reason, despite the fact that I work for a local government, I do not have today off. If the post office, with all their wind and sleet and snow and yappy dogs don't have to work, why do I?

This is unfair. Inhumane. UNAMERICAN!!!

Plus, it's also a Monday and I really think Mondays should just be banned anyways.

Elect me next time around, I'll give us all Mondays off. Or at the very least, I'll give ME Mondays off. President Cate, ruler of the free world and the interwebz. This would make me a happier person, which means less punching people in the face, which means the world will be a more peaceful place.

Yes, a vote for Cate is a vote for world peace!

Eh, who am I kidding? I can't even convince the voices in my head to vote me President of Catedonia.

Robotic Groundhogs

Due to my affinity for robot armadillos (remember the Great Robot Armadillo Incident of 2009?), this news story caught my attention.

PETA proposes robotic groundhog for Pa. festival

Yeah, PETA is standing up for the groundhog, claiming the crowds and noise and lights are indecent so the little rodent should be replaced with a robot.

Seriously? A robot. Wow. Like in Caddyshack I suppose (wait, sources tell me that's a gopher, nevermind).

I kinda love William Deeley's response. Mr. Deeley, by the way, is the president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club. Isn't that the best title ever to put on your resume? Also, is there an Outer Circle as well?

Anyways, after describing the posh living conditions enjoyed by one Mr. Phil D. Groundhog, Mr. Deeley said "PETA isn't interested in Phil from Feb. 2 on, and is looking for publicity."

Exactly right, Mr. Deeley. I hate that crap. You really care about the Punxutawney Phil, you make a movie calling out his holiday that has almost nothing to do with him and then you cast the funny but un-hot Bill Murray as a romantic lead don't just freak out about it in time to have Google index some fresh news about you in time for the groundhog searches. You would care all year long.

PETA is one of those organizations that makes me crazy. I think at heart I share their cause. Who wouldn't be in favor of the humane treatment of animals? But when your organization is reduced to conveniently-timed publicity stunts, extreme measures and ridiculous causes (like robotic groundhogs), you lose some credibility.

Next thing you know they'll be coming after me, accusing me of punching Tonya in the face, causing her to lose a fang. Know who else only has one fang? This guy:

Now that I look closer, I see a really strong family resemblance.

Also, since I have your attention, Phil, let's see what we can do about Spring coming sooner rather than later, okay? I wouldn't want to have to serve you with a side of mashed potatoes punch you in the face. Because that would be a legitimate offense and I don't have time to deal with PETA.

Compactor vs Dumpster

Over an hour of my life last night, gone, irretrievable, over the city I work for wanting to impose "mandatory trash compactors" vs multiple dumpsters. To their credit, our council felt that was too pushy and ultimately ruled to leave that decision to the builder.

But, really, an hour? During which they spent twenty minutes in "closed session" receiving legal counsel from the attorney.

It's almost as fun as the last city council meeting I attended for work. That time, they spent almost as long discussing pet waste removal from the public parks and greenways. The big debate then? The definition of "proper waste container". "Is a pocket a proper waste container? Must it be a plastic bag? What about a paper bag? What about a hand?"

Seriously. And we wonder why government takes so damned long to accomplish anything.

ETA: Also, when there are wars and Haiti and important things in the world, it really aggravates me to spend an hour talking about the stupidity of trash compactors. Really? This is the most important thing in our little stupid town? Maybe we need to rethink what we're doing here.

Blog Action Day 2009

Blog Action Day is an annual event that unites the world's bloggers in posting about the same issue on the same day. Our aim is to raise awareness and trigger a global discussion.

The theme this year is Climate Change.

Climate change affects us all and it threatens more than the environment. It threatens to cause famine, flooding, war, and millions of refugees.

Given the urgency of the issue of climate change and the upcoming international climate negotiations in Copenhagen this December, we think the blogosphere has the unique opportunity to mobilize millions of people around expressing support for finding a sustainable solution to the climate crisis.

I struggled with what to write about today. I'm not a scientist. Nobody's ever going to give me a Nobel Prize for anything (except I'm also not George Bush so I guess if it's good enough for Obama, it's good enough for me). I don't have anything shockingly original or world-changing to say. So what could I say that's even on target?

And then I saw it. Some moron rocket scientist on Facebook groaning about how global warming is a total farce because it was snowing last weekend in St. Louis. When someone replied and said that "it's not global warming - it's climate change", the buffoon misinformed neurosurgeon replied that climate change is just the politically correct term because everyone has caught on to global warming being a ruse.

No, climate change is NOT the politically correct term. It's the term we use now because industrial engineers such as yourself are too stupid to understand that GLOBAL warming means the globe is warming, which results in some bizarre weather in your LOCAL area. Your narcissistic self can't understand that global warming is not all about you! It's not St. Louis Warming. So since you're too dense to realize that yes, global warming may result in excessive heat for some and snow for others, we refer to it as climate change so as not to confuse your simple brain.

Ignorance makes me nuts. Just because you don't understand, just because you don't want to make changes, don't show your ignorance by proclaiming it doesn't exist. I don't understand electricity but I don't refuse to pay the bill because I deny its existence. I don't understand gravity but I don't glue my stapler to my desk because I doubt it's occurring. I've never seen the Easter bunny but I'm not gonna argue. And you know me, my reaction to my "friend" on Facebook was a strong desire to punch him in the face.

I'm sure this isn't at all what the Blog Action Day people were after. I'll probably be banned from BAD10. It won't be the first time I've been banned for life.

P.S. If this green stuff isn't your kind of thing, go on over to my pal Sass's blog for "Things I Want Thursday". I didn't participate this week because of BAD09 but I plan to play along next week. So many things I want... But for today, the only thing I want is for you to go see Sass. And also, maybe a mocha.

11/28/09: I had to turn off comments on this post because spammers kept replying to it. Only THIS post. Very annoying.

Punch Awards: Saving the Kitties

Today, I give some awards. It's this, or I get fired. And if I get fired, Tonya doesn't get her gourmet crunchies. And if Tonya is downgraded to common Whiskas, she'll eat our faces. Save my job, save my cats, save my face. The circle of life. Now, let's give out some punch awards!

Feel free to add your own nominees in the comments. I'm sure there's no shortage of deserving recipients.

Dear Co-worker,

You were one of the few co-workers I didn't have total disdain for. You were always professional and I appreciated that.

Until today, when I received an interoffice envelope from you. It was a promotional flyer for Curves. And here is how it made me feel:

• Thank you for calling me a fatass. I'm well aware but I'm so glad you noticed.
• So angry - Curves is one of about a dozen businesses I actively boycott. Happy to have that all brought to mind.

And that's all I have to say about that because I believe politics don't belong at work and I have so many things I would say if I let myself get started. Instead, I give you this award.

Stick to writing purchase orders,


Dear Jon Gosselin,

That dress the girls talked you into wearing during dress-up at the beginning of the season is the least of things you should be embarrassed by. Who knew it was possible to make the public root for Kate and her rooster-do?

I kinda think you both fail in various ways, as do we all except for me, but I choose to award you with this gifty for being such a supremely clueless buffoon.

You could always pawn those ridiculous earrings if you need cash,

My least favorite season

Ahh, the change of seasons... From "sweat my balls off" (not that I even have balls) to "election season".

Ha, you thought this was going to be a post about the first day of Fall, didn't you?

On the drive to work yesterday morning, I noticed it almost immediately. Overnight, little candidate yard signs had been hard at work procreating and littering the streets. Red, blue, green, they were in every direction like an exploded monkey piñata.

I just don't get the point of these signs. Besides being ugly and a waste of materials that just end up in landfills or streams, they really serve no purpose except to appease hot neighbors.

Really, since "green" is important to me, I think I'm going to start counting signs for each candidate. Then I'll vote for the one with the least amount of crap spewing forth on my streets.

Pumpkin spice lattes, colored leaves, and political yard signs. Yep, it's definitely Fall.

If you want something done...

Today's post is super-late.  And I'm going to use it for a bit of a rant. Thanks in advance for either indulging me or clicking the back button.

Joe and I are on a committee together at church (don't ask about church, that's a whole OTHER post because they don't seem so much interested in us as they are our checkbooks and so we don't show up very often and nobody ever contacts us to see how we're doing but you can be damn sure we'll get a reminder that our financial pledge is outstanding). It's the Green Committee, formed about two years ago.

Here's how the committee works. Joe agreed to co-chair with Fred, since Joe doesn't really have as much time to commit as he felt was necessary. Fred shows up to about half the meetings, doesn't let Joe know that, nothing. I ended up with the position of secretary because I nicely volunteered.

When we actually have a meeting, it doesn't matter if 2 people show up or if 30 people show up, it always turns out the same. Ideas are discussed. Great ideas are suggested. Then we ask who would like to follow-up on that idea.

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

I take the notes and mark that Joe will follow-up. Or I will follow-up. We had a meeting today and of 10 action items to come out of the meeting, every single one is marked with either my name or Joe's next to it.

WTH, people? Is your life so damn busy you can't commit to a bit of research? A phone call? Because I can tell you that Joe's life is WAY busy but you happily let everything fall to him. I had no idea being co-chair meant doer of everything.

I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that we can't get the actual church to cooperate (eww, no, you can NOT put recycle bins there, they aren't pretty enough) when our own committee members can't be bothered.

And where's Fred? Slacker.

Yeah, I'm done ranting now. Thanks.

P.S. I'm beginning to think the fat lip I came home with after my endoscopy is not so much a fat lip as it is nerve damage to my lower lip. Awesome. Let's add that to the list of crap to deal with, huh? Right behind researching cellphone donation and adopt-a-stream, and don't forget that your pledge for 2009 is outstanding - feel free to increase the amount if you like, you can afford it!

Lost in Translation

I think I'm one of about four people in the world that didn't like that movie. Joe and I were so bored, waiting for something to happen. And the whole point was that nothing happens? If I want to be bored, I'll live my own life thankyouverymuch. And what did she whisper in his ear at the end? I'm fairly certain it was "can you believe these morons paid to see this dreck?" or maybe that's just what I was thinking.

Anyways, this post is not about that awful movie. This post is about Google Voice. See the connection? Google Voice does some cool stuff but one of the features involves emailing you a transcript of voicemail messages. Sometimes this is very helpful! Sometimes it is not.

Process of area fluffy fluffy fluffy fluffy that. Hey I. I mean.

This is a test message we left ourselves when we were doing research for Winey Wednesday. It was something about Tonya is a very fluffy fluffy fluffy fluffy cat. Followed by something I absolutely cannot remember.

Hello, I'm calling with Organizing for America special project of the Democratic National Committee. I'm calling to invite you to a rally in support of the bombers call for health insurance reform. The president need do to make your voice heard. I really need to reform he paid for by the Democratic National Committe, not authorize by any candidates or Janet. It's Committee.

So let me get this straight. They've mistakenly called Obama the bomber. Or is Google Voice run by conservatives? I'd love for reform to be paid for by the DNC or anyone else not named Cate & Joe for that matter. And I have no idea who Janet is so her authorization probably wouldn't mean a whole lot to me anyways.

You can, and all my presented the temporarily. Please if you have a customers. Please continue to hold briefly and apologize for the deadline. You'll be connecting to the moment. Please continue to hold briefly hello.

This one makes me think Joe may have applied for The Bachelor without my knowledge. Connecting to the moment? Maybe if the briefly hello goes well, they can go on a journey together, leading to the most shocking rose ceremony EVER!!!

And finally, my favorite by far, which arrived just in time for this post:

Hi, This message is for Kate, This is the endoscopy Center calling to remind you of your appointment on Friday, September 18th. Your appointment is at 8. Hey then. Please arrive 1 hour prior to your scheduled appointment time. You must have a responsible adult with you to receive discharge instructions and to drive you home if you have a good day. Please be sure to bring that with you when you come. You are scheduled at our Location located at 401 North West Scary Parkway if you had any questions, please call 93741524. A copy of your patience, right. Please call or visit our website.

So let me make sure I've got all this - they started out well with my time and date, even though they do spell my name wrong. Hey then! And if I have a good day (IF?!?!?!), a responsible adult must be there to bring me home. I should bring that (the responsible adult?) with me. Guess I'll take Joe. Also, their location is actually on Kerry Parkway, not Scary Parkway. Yes, I'm a bit afraid now about my appointment on Friday.

For the most part, I really like the service (no, this is not a paid advertisement). It allows me to call people for free and usually the voicemail transcripts are helpful enough that I can at least tell who called without actually listening to the message. Still, it seems there is plenty of room for improvement.

Much like that sucktastic movie.

I hate it when...

... your employer (both as an organization and your boss individually) is telling you to be creative, be innovative, come up with ways to increase efficiency and decrease costs.

So you come up with three ideas that do exactly that. Truly genius ideas.

And then the boss shoots them all down. Because they're too outside the box.

Guess I misunderstood the assignment.

Reflections on the Fourth

Since yesterday's post was consumed with Six Word Saturday, I thought I'd take a few minutes today to talk about what the Fourth of July means to me.

July 4th means two things to me: picnics and Go USA! birthdays and boys. Yeah, turns out this is a bit of a Sunday Confession.

First, the birthdays. My little brother, Rob, was born on July 4th. As such, of course he thought the big picnics and fireworks were for him. Eventually, he realized that it was odd the rest of us didn't receive such large celebrations. Truthfully, it was fun for me to make the day all about Rob. Even though I haven't spent his birthday with him in years, part of me still feels that the festivities are celebrating him.

Not to be forgotten, the 4th is also about boys. Specifically, fireworks are about boys. On one occasion (I think I was 15), I was invited to go see fireworks with the family of a guy that liked me. I liked him too but he was insanely shy. Short version is that I ended up making out with another guy throughout the evening. Looking back, probably this was poor form. But this other guy was someone I had liked forEVER (c'mon, you were 15 once!) and never thought I'd have a chance with so of course I was gonna go there when opportunity knocked!

And most notably, it was just before attending fireworks with Joe that he proposed for the first time. I say "for the first time" because we were so young, so new together, and he had no ring. We decided to be sort of pre-engaged or something and then he proposed for realz a year or so later, ring in hand all proper-like.

I should mention that it's not that I don't value and appreciate the freedoms are traditionally celebrated on this holiday. It's just that a lot of the politics have really disillusioned me. I liken it to organized religion vs. spirituality. I'm all about spirituality but most churches (and the politics there-in) turn me off. I'm all about my freedoms and the people who have served to ensure them - but the politics make it hard to rally behind The Big Day. Also, anything overly manipulative emotionally (*cough*Lee Greenwood*cough*) aggravates me. I'm also a big fan of "nothing wrong with having a special day but there are another 364 days you should remember the feeling as well". So perhaps that's part of why Independence Day isn't overly red, white and blue for me.

Whatever the Fourth of July means to you, I hope you had a good one.

A trip down memory lane

Even though this blog is fairly anonymous, I try to avoid too many details about my work. However, I've just spent a ridiculous amount of time on a tedious task and I feel I've earned the right to wallow in self-pity whine share.

See, part of my job duties somehow involve creating and manipulating PDFs. This is mainly because the users here are not so capable of doing it themselves and since the documents are ultimately placed on the website and I am the master of the universe webmaster, I have to turn their documents into nice little fillable PDFs for them.

That's your boring background. And here's what I'd like to gripe about more specifically: the youth activities registration forms.

These forms all require the following information.

• Mother's Name
• Mother's Work Phone
• Father's Name
• Father's Work Phone

So it seems my employer has evolved as far as, say, the 1950s? Women are allowed to work, yay, we ask for their work phone number!

But, also, all youth will have both a mother and a father to list on their form. I guess we haven't yet heard of single parent households. Children raised by grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings. Same-sex parenting.

Maybe they'll figure that out in another fifty years. All I know is I don't plan on still being here updating their forms at that point.

Kiss me, I'm Irish!

No, really I am!  Kinda sorta!

Joe's heritage is half English, half Irish.  Since the English half is his mother's side and he doesn't associate much with them anyways, he fully embraces his Irish roots.  We've actually been to visit some of his relatives in Western Ireland and saw the little cottage his grandfather was born in.  Then last year  he applied for and was granted his Irish citizenship.  So if you ask Joe, he's Irish.

And if you don't ask Joe, all you have to do is see how red his cheeks become when he's drunk, embarassed or angry.

My own heritage is a bit of a question mark.  On my father's side, I come from a long line of loose women.  Haha, no I did NOT just call my Grandmother a ho!  But if you go back to my dad's father, we're not exactly sure what his paternal situation might've been.  The supposed story is that his mother became pregnant by one guy, married another, and then her husband never officially adoped him but somehow we ended up with his crackpot Lithuanian last name anyways.  As for countries of origin?  I've been told English, Irish, Scottish, Polish, American Indian, French...  

Here's what I figure.  My family doesn't even speak to or about the living members (this despite the fact that they all live within twenty miles of each other).  Trying to find out the facts about the dearly departed?  It's just not going to happen.  I've tried.  This means I am free to choose the heritage I want so I'll go along with Joe and say I'm Irish.

Another reason I choose Ireland is because I really love it there.  We've visted twice - once to the extremely rural west near Knock and once to Dublin (with a day trip to Galway).  We even visited St. Patrick's Cathedral on that last trip.  And Ireland is so beautiful and so lively.  

Plus, hey, Guinness!  And Baileys!  Seriously, what's not to love?

So I choose to be Irish.  It's not a lie because I do believe it's in my background somewhere.  And it's not just "everybody's Irish on St. Patrick's Day" because it's my choice always.

I am not, however, wearing green.  Be advised - if you attempt to pinch me, I will succeed at punching you in the face.  The Irish are also known for being a bit quick-tempered.

Some random Tuesday thoughts

My brain is running wild, trying to process way too many things at once which makes focusing on a single topic impossible. Instead I'm just going to share some of the random junk floating around in there.

- I hate going back to the doctor over and over again only to be told "huh, that didn't work, let's try this instead!". I feel like a science project. And I'm tired of being poked at like a lab specimen and made to feel like I'm deformed or something.

- Daylight Savings (aka one of the few things Bush did that I appreciate) - I suffer from night blindness so it's awesome to be able to do something after work instead of rushing home before I can't see anything. I still haven't mastered that "lose an hour of sleep" thing though.

- Feedburner is really messing with my blog feeds and I'm losing patience with it. My favorite tech problems are always the ones that other people also suffer from but nobody seems to have a solution.

- This new medicine tastes like the monkey cages smell at the zoo. No wonder you're supposed to drink 8 oz of water with it.

- My brain is on so much crack, I can't seem to process simple things. Like we're getting a new fridge because the old one sucks, runs all the time, is horribly inefficient, etc. Well, what do we do with all our food in between the emptying it out of the old fridge and waiting for the new one to get cold? They're taking the old one away to recycle so I doubt they're going to wait around and let us have them up simultaneously. These are the things that keep me up at night.

- I think I'm the odd duck that doesn't pee myself in excitement for blog giveaways. Don't get me wrong, I've thrown my name in for some great ones. But mostly, I've gone to great lengths to protect my identity - so what happens if I win? You want my name and address? PANIC ATTACK!!! So it's got to be really appealing (or a lot of fun) for me to put my name in, which means the SITS Spring Fling should be interesting today...

- Related to the former but can you buy a PO Box and register it to your real name, say Jane Smith, but receive mail there for a different name, say Cate Q. McFacePuncher?

Yeah, that's about all I've got. I'll try harder tomorrow.

No birthday for you

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day so I thought I'd share my thoughts on people who complain about the occasion, not that anyone asked. See, I share free of charge. I'm cool like that. But then no matter what I wrote, it sounded obnoxious. So I deleted it all and started over. Several times. Instead, you get this, whatever this is.

Also, I'm just going to own up right now to the fact that my head is throbbing and I'm a little mumbly.

I neither love nor hate 2/14. I'm a believer in "you shouldn't need a special day to tell someone you care" but I'm also of the thought that "a little extra love in the world sure ain't a bad idea". We have holidays to remember all sorts of occasions, why not one to celebrate love? And have you seen Joaquin Phoenix's career my 401k the news lately? The world is not a happy place. We could use a little more warm and fuzzy!

So to those of you who hate Valentine's Day, I say we'll cancel it when you give up your birthday. I mean, why should we only treat people as special on that one day a year commemorating their birth? Why pay extra attention just once annually?

To all of those who have fought for our freedom, sorry, but no Veterans Day for you.

To those overworked admins? No Secretary's Day.

And dare I mention Mother's Day or Father's Day? What an unnecessary load of hooey!

Apparently, we should all just remember everyone for every reason everyday and not single out one day to remember these various honors. I know I'm really great at remembering things so not a problem!

Realizing how ridiculous those scenarios are, I give the same argument for Valentine's Day. We shouldn't ignore our "significant other" (which, really, how bizarre is that phrase? I totally want to be an insignificant other!) only to pay attention and treat them well on that one day. How silly!

And yet all of these situations are valid to me. We should take time out to appreciate each other on a much more regular basis. But if we need a little reminder from time to time under the guise of a Hallmark-created holiday, so be it.

Just because maybe you personally aren't so inclined to participate in this specific occasion, it doesn't mean the rest of the world should not. In a few months, I'll be sharing my thoughts on Mother's Day but the summation goes like this - I'm not close to my mother, I don't even think she WAS much of a mother, and I'm sure not up for celebrating that she's my mother. But I also appreciate that there are a lot of fabulous mothers out there so I celebrate them and would not begrudge them their day.

I guess in the end this was still sorta about the people who dislike Valentine's Day but it's a lot different approach than when I began. Yay for wandering minds. I'm just so exhausted by the hurt and pain in the world (and in my head) right now and I'd much rather have everyone feel a bit of love instead of running into so much bitterness over something like Valentine's Day.

And if you don't like it? I'm totally taking your birthday away. Deal with it. Or I'll punch you in the face.

P.S. In the interest of not getting older, I'd be willing to give my birthday away. Who's with me?

Inauguration Day Tour

It's not often that I have so much material I don't know where to start but I find my head spinning as I sit down to prepare for Muse Swing's Inauguration Day tour. I knew I wanted to write about visiting D.C. but after writing, rewriting, editing, starting from scratch, and rewriting yet again, I feel like I can't do my love for this city justice. I should've started this post the moment the tour was announced.

I live near enough to D.C. that it makes a great weekend getaway. I've lost count of how many times Joe and I have made the drive, how many fabulous places we've eaten, how many events, museums, monuments and neighborhoods we've checked out. It's one of my favorite cities to visit.

D.C. has such a rich diversity of offerings that a visit can be anything you want it to be, which is part of why I love it so much. Every time we visit, it's like checking out a completely new city. There really is something for everyone regardless of your interests.

It doesn't have to be an expensive trip - public transportation is great, many museums are free, and there's so much to see and experience just by walking around. You can spend an entire day just wandering the Mall, especially if you throw in a Smithsonian Museum or two (I recommend Natural History, American History, Air & Space).

If you're interested in paying for a museum, there are two I recommend. Newseum is fairly new but it's an interesting way to delve into history, focusing on how news has been portrayed through the media. Also, the view from the top floor is amazing. Another museum worth the price of admission is the Holocaust Museum. I will warn that it's a very sobering experience but it's well-presented and left me with a much greater understanding of the horrible events that occurred.

On the lighter side, maybe you'd rather check out some specific neighborhoods. Dupont Circle is an area I could spend an entire day poking around. In fact, I have done just that. Bookstores, shops, restaurants... I spent an entire afternoon hiding in the corner of a bookstore with some coffee and my laptop, writing and people-watching for hours. Also, it's only a Metro stop or two away from my absolute favorite D.C. attraction - the Zoo, complete with these guys over to the right:

Another neighborhood I love is Alexandria. We haven't spent as much time there but from the brief glimpse I caught, I can tell it's worth going back for, hopefully this Spring.

For reasonably priced and tasty, casual eats, check out Cosi. There are locations everywhere and it's a great place to grab a coffee, a salad, or a sandwich. You must try the T.B.M. (tomato, basil mozzarella on fresh-baked flatbread).

Of course, there are many ways to enjoy D.C. that involve spending a lot of money - amazing restaurants, shows at the Kennedy Center, sporting events, private tours. But rarely do we spend a lot on attractions when we visit. There's so much to see and do even on a small budget - save your money for a good pair of walking shoes because you're going to need them!

Thanks for stopping by though I apologize if you felt a bit ignored because I'm a bit glued to the Inauguration events on tv. I can't wait to see what everyone else came up with for their tour stops. Enjoy your day and thanks to Muse Swings for organizing the event!