doctor: So how does it seem to be going?The good news is that while I was dealing with this whole allergy-that-was-really-a-yeast-infection on my neck, it was scarf weather so I could totally hide the infestation going on. Except turns out that was just keeping things warm and moist and making it worse. Also, now all my scarves are probably covered in ick.
me: Ok I guess, except I might be having an allergic reaction, I'm not sure.
doctor: What are your symptoms?
me: See here? My neck is all red and itchy. I want to claw my skin off.
doctor, looking: It's just here?
me: Yes.
doctor: I think that's not allergies. I think you have a yeast infection.
me: On my neck?
doctor: Yes.
me: I'm not that kind of girl.
doctor: What?
me: I mean, I support gay rights. There's nothing wrong with that.
doctor: How in the world do you think you get yeast infections? No, I don't want to know.
me: How DID I get it?
doctor: Yeast infections on the skin are common from moisture and sweat.
me: Oh.
doctor: Now that you go to the gym more, it can be from that.
me: So I got a yeast infection from the gym.
doctor: Not exactly.
me: But kind of.
doctor: *sigh* You should stop talking. I will prescribe pills and a cream.
me: And those super secret magic weight loss pills doctors say don't exist so I can stop going to the gym since I tried and got a yeast infection there?
doctor: No.
me: Worth a shot. I mean, haven't I been punished enough?
Note to self: wash all scarves. Twice.
Come back next week when I post some more about sweat and the gym. Isn't this blog just the greatest?!?!
9 comments:
OMG! I didn't know your neck could get a yeast infection!!! Also, I laughed so hard at this post, tears almost ran down my leg. :)
Yeah, probably a good idea to wash your scarf collection, just in case.
Yikes, I'm reading this just after coming home from the gym. I don't really think I have to worry....I didn't get that hot and sweaty, it was more of a quick-stop visit on my way to Starucks. :)
I knew women could get yeast infections under their breasts and in armpits, never heard of a neck one before, but loved your dialog with your doctor. Bet he so looks forward to your visits, a change up from his usual dull routine! :-) Glad it's something easily curable though, and doesn't mean you have to stop the migraine medication. See, we always knew exercise was secretly bad for you! ;-)
Interesting post. Please do not tell My Beloved Sandra that we've been discussing your yeast infection, though; she'd never believe the neck story...
If it helps, that's the first place my mind went. I probably shouldn't have admitted that, huh? Oops. {lol}
Oh dear, poor you.
Obviously I have a lot to learn about lesbianism and/or yeast infections!
Hilarious. I sometimes wonder if these docs know what they are prescribing. I thought it was just coincidence that I started to cough soon after the cardiologist changed most of the meds that I've been taking for nearly 20 years. Having been coughing since early December, not having had a cold, I just read all the notices in the boxes three of them mention a cough under "adverse reactions" Another said the med should not be taken with warfarin - one of the few old ones to survive the changes!
I seriously laughed out loud at this post!!! At least he gave you something for it, right? :)
Post a Comment