WRONG!!!
If I'm going to take this writing thing seriously, I need to broaden my vocabulary. This first occurred to me while watching a recent episode of Food Network Star. Tyler Florence took one of the contestants aside and advised her very seriously that she needed to "develop a rolodex of good adjectives to describe things". Oh, come on, tell me you see the funny in that? Also, most people store their words somewhere other than a rolodex. Even more people no longer use a rolodex for anything. The point was driven home when watching some Gordon Ramsay show with a lot of bleeping. I don't want to risk the bleeping once I'm famous and on television.
I'm sharing this for two reasons:
- I need your suggestions for colorful words I can use instead. And I don't mean words like "fudge" and "crumb" - not swear-substitutions but more powerful words altogether.
- I'm keeping track of my swears and plan to donate $1 for each word I use that I've defined as off-limits. For the record, these words start with s and f. I want your suggestions for where I should donate that money to at the end of some time period I've yet to determine. No cause to great or too small.
7 comments:
We use a lot of creative expletives in our house thanks to the sensitive ears present. Some of which are "son of a pup," "crab nuggets" (which is a reference to the movie Megamind), and often some random sounds said with the expletive tone of voice. However, I am also a fan of cursing in German. For example "scheisse," with means the s-word, doesn't stick out the way the actually s-word would.
I really like the idea of a swear jar for donation. We may have to consider that option. I don't know what would be the best place to donate. Perhaps the American Diabetes Association.
As you know, I do use a fair bit of the f-word, among others... ahem. And, I'm also a writer. Since being in school, i have a pretty solid on & off switch, which comes in handy for those future TV interviews ;) So I'm not giving my f-fascination up any time soon. I'll wait until we have kid. I will have to remember this swear jar idea, I'm sure we'll need it.
However, I have start working on my vocabulary, not so much to avoid swearing, but just to enrich my language. I now keep a small box of GRE prep vocabulary flash cards in my purse, and when i have a few minutes of down time, waiting for the Dr. or what not, I flip through it. It's great, as long as you don't mind looking a bit nerdy in public.
The reward is that the next time some a-hole acts like a f-tard, I can say:
"You rebarbative, bovaristic oligophrenic, come here and let me give you a vapulation!"
How about donating to Lymphoma research?
No amount is too small, every $ helps.
Good plan! I have the same reaction every time I hear someone on tv having entire sentences bleeped. It makes them look uneducated and coarse. It's much more fun to run through your vocabulary looking for acceptable names to call someone. I need to do the same thing - I fall back on f & s way too often.
Hmm, maybe words that more specifically describe whatever it is you don't like...such as "ridiculous," "uptight," "rude," etc.?
And I think the Zoodle Constipation Fund would be a good one for you to donate to...I'm dreading that hospital bill!! :)
My absolutely most favorite thing to say is "What the Fa-la-la-la is...." finish sentence here. Or..
"Shut the Front Door"
Both have to be said with the right amount of attitude and inflection. Good luck. And don't be afraid to try new things. YOU may start a trend :)
Well, when it comes to the language thing, I think your best bet is to take each situation as it comes, and perhaps use the first polite word that comes to mind. However, if you wish to make a full on effort to sound educated, then perhaps something like, "frustration and botheration," instead of "for f*** sake," or, "that's a startling revelation," in place of, "f****** s***, no way!"
As for the charity... Perhaps something cancer related? I mean, many people are effected by cancer in one way or another, be it because they have it, because they have a family member or friend who has it, or they have a friend who knows someone who has it. Alternatively, you could always donate a little to a few different charities.
I've had those various jars at places I've worked, and they can be quite useful. My favorite saying is "Holy catfish!' not sure where I got that, but I'll think really hard and see if I can find one really cool saying to offer...growing up I used "oh sugar" we all did...my just 3 year old grandson uses the word stinker a lot, you stinker this or you stinker that...it's kind of cute coming from him...I had a childhood friend that used to swear in German but my mother caught her on that....good luck with finding your new saying, someone probably has something cool...besides crumbs and such! My "Holy catfish" works for good and bad and has become such a habit for me...so that's a good thing as work really frowns on swearing!
Post a Comment