I sit down to blog and the words stick. I debate how much to share and about what topics. I abandon posts in draft because I feel some obligation to my readers and some deep desire within myself to be funny or entertaining or at least light-hearted and I'm just not feeling it.
I've got a lot of stuff in my head right now and I'm wondering how best to deal with it all. Hmm, can the crazy dreams be that much of a coincidence? (Meditation before bed, btw, is helping a lot.) Sometimes I think that it's best not to give these fears and issues a voice; not ignoring them, exactly, but also not putting them down in black and white. Or is it a better idea to write them out, acknowledge, and then (hopefully) move on? Let it out or let it go?
Screw it. I started this blog over two years ago as a place I could be honest and voice those thoughts and fears openly. Anonymous in name but authentic in all else. And right now, I'm going through a lot of stuff. It's not big stuff in the scheme of the world. I have enough food, I have enough money, I have enough things. But I don't have enough peace or love or direction.
So, dear reader - and I mean that, because some of you have become amazing friends - I'm going to let it out, in hopes that it will facilitate letting it go. Also, maybe by letting some of these words out, I'll also be able to find some of that light-hearted face-punching first-fursdaying fun. Because I miss that, a lot.
I hope some of you will stick by me while I try to get back not only my blogging mojo but my life mojo. It's overdue but I feel like I've come as close to hitting bottom as I dare allow and I'm ready to fight my way back up.
Here goes
16 comments:
Well I'm not going anywhere! I try to keep my blog amusing but it was more therapy than anything. I use it to post serious subjects (like John's battle with cancer). If you use your blog to vent, then do it! Use the subject line to let folks know it's a serious subject. If they don't want to rad serious, they can skip over it.
I deal with similar issues, and I find that I am appreciating the feeling of pushing through the discomfort of actually speaking true things, not just trying to be lighthearted and fun. And, no, most of my writing is not that ambiguous and winding. ;)
Just write you. Don't worry about what people expect of you.
i'm glad you're going for it...
you've managed to maintain anonymity (funny word) so you should feel safe enough with the people who read you and would love to support you, offer advice, volunteer a face punch or two...
this is one of the main reasons i've moved to wordpress. right now i don't feel like spilling shit that people i KNOW know irl can read about. you know?
maybe it was a mistake to share it with some of them in the first place, but what's done is done.
and i might change my mind, i might not...but i feel like right now i needed a safer place away from some people.
also, i FUCKING love you.
andrea
I love the title..perfect. I'm here for you and with you.
I went through the same thing a while ago. I stopped blogging all together (I'm sure you noticed) and wasn't sure where to go from there. Unfortunately I am not anonymous though and it really bugged me that I had this stuff I wanted to talk out, but no where to vent it out to... so I opened a new blog under an alias and started blogging there....
I still go through periods where I have NO bloggy mojo. I still have times where I don't know what to say or how much to say it. I've stopped making excuses (on either blog) for not blogging. That's just how life goes sometimes. You blog some days and not on others. There will be periods I blog every day for WEEKS and times where no one hears a sound from me for months. I shouldn't hide that, it's just part of life. After all, life doesn't begin and end with the written word here on the internet. This is where we come to vent, this is where we come for lol's and comfort and fun and that little bit of something that is missing from real life (not that blogs aren't real....)
Life has it's ups and downs and everything in between, you blog will reflect that. Let it out. Let it go as you type it all out and then vent it to your friends here online. After all... this is where you come to get the shit off your chest that you can't for whatever reason vent elsewhere. This is where you can be silly enough to write for your cats, give us a 6 word recap of your week and tell us like it really is... this is a big part of who you are. Every now and then feel free to hide that part of you away from us, but don't you dare, ever feel like you HAVE to hide her!
If people can't accept you for being YOU then what the hell are they reading your blog for? There are THOUSANDS of other blogs out there that they can relate to better if they don't enjoy something you've said.
Let it out. And when you're done venting about it, you will find it's easier to let it go. ;)
~Autumn
This is your place to be you and vent....don't keep it all bottled in. :O)
I know I don't comment often, but I read, yes I read. *hugs* I'll be here while you work it out and even after. I'm like a bad habit, you can't get rid of me that easy!
Anonymous is the way to go. If people "know" you - you may feel that you can't be honest. Since to me - you're really just a conglomeration os 1's and 0's - you can be as honest as you need to be and we'll still like you
I'm not going anywhere either! There's nothing wrong with a bit of real you, it doesn't always have to be hilariously happy.
I too struggle with how much to share sometimes, especially if I'm feeling really low. There's a line between fake plasticity and 'too much information'. But I think once you know your regular readers and they know you, then you can feel the limits.
So if it feels right, go for it. I reckon all your readers will be right here with you!
Jx
I think that writing your fears down and exposing them to the light of day is a good way to help you move toward negating them. Your last line shows that you have the courage and strength to do what you need to do for yourself.
I just read recently that in a study of two groups of students who took an exam, the group that wrote down their fears about the exam beforehand did better than the group that just took it, with no writing.
So write it. Make up code words and names if you have to, but get it out.
And now I realize I needed that advice for myself. Thanks. :)
Have an Extraordinary Day!
Looking forward to sticking with you through your honesty. :)
When I saw your title, I was so afraid you were closing your blog--especially after Saturday's six words. Hang in there, let it all out...we all have ups and downs--and lose our blogging mojo. It'll get better :)
I think it was contagion. My post this week was a ditto of this. I had to write about it to get through it.
If it helps any, you're not alone in this! I've been feeling a bit like that too1!
Sometimes you have to let it out to let it go.
I blog pseudonymously (not anonymously) also, for a variety of reasons
You have good friends here who care about you, and will support you.
You go girl!
JzB
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