Penalty Minutes

WARNING!!! This post doesn't so much involve judging of a parent by a non-parent. Well, it does but I left it unsaid this time. Because I'm awesome.

Yesterday, we ended up at Mount Vernon, former home of THE George Washington. You know, the dude on the $100 bills. Also our first President and inventor of the cherry tree or something.

The day was bright and sunny but oh so cold and windy. Plus, big crowds. And by big, I don't really mean HUGE, just that there was a wait of about 35 minutes to enter the mansion and apparently this was unusual for them.

As we stood in line, we were sandwiched between two families. The folks in front of us had two young girls who were very quiet, very patient, and very good at line-waiting. Behind us was a larger, louder family that included a boy of about 10-12 years old. He was NOT very good at line-waiting. Constantly weaving in and out of people, wandering off, breaking limbs off trees. "Armando, if I have to tell you one more time to stay in line..." Oh, the effectiveness of an empty threat when the kid knows there will be no consequences.

This little punk cherub also had no understanding of personal space. Know who has a very strong understanding of personal space? That would be me, your pal Cate. Not only do I understand it, but I need it. Add to this the fact that my back was still bothering me a lot and the extremely close conditions once we piled into the house and I was quite on the verge of a panic attack.

Joe, however, saved me from an anxiety breakdown by gifting me with a large laugh. As we made our way down the final set of stairs, he asked me the question that made it all better. "Would an elbow be considered offensive or defensive?"

Yes, Joe, speaking my (hockey) language. Offensive or defensive, I don't know. But either way it would've totally been worth the two minute penalty incurred.

"I don't know"

WARNING!!! This post involves judging of a parent by a non-parent. It also involves judging of a stranger without knowing all the details. It also involves pandas.

What's wrong with saying "I don't know"? Or, even better, "I don't know but let's find out together"?

(Note to self: in 2010, learn some punctuation rules)

So last night, we were at the National Zoo in D.C. for "Zoo Lights" which is their annual wintery "open the zoo after hours and charge admission to walk around and see a few lights even though most of the animals are sleeping or in for the evening" festivity. One of the few habitats open was the panda house.

A curious little boy-child stood nearby as we looked in on Tai Shan, the 4yo panda born at the zoo. His father (assuming) told him that this was the mommy bear and that the way he knew this was that "she" was smaller than the other two bears they had seen. I did not say anything since we all know I'm such a non-intrusive sort, but managed somehow not to punch the guy in the face as he misinformed his son.

When what to my wondering eye did appear but a very welcome sight - a zoo volunteer! The lady began telling the story of baby man-bear Tai Shan. The kid next to us proclaimed loudly "no, that's the mommy bear, my dad said so!".

(Seriously, the punctuation. It's embarassing.)

Yep, well, your daddy "educated" you incorrectly, small child. Why not tell the kid he wasn't sure which bear that was but let's ask someone and find out! Or let's look it up later! Make a project out of it, spend 5 minutes with the kid finding a volunteer or doing a search on Google when you get home.

As a non-parent, can some out there help me understand? Are parents really expected to be all-knowing beings? Such a lot of pressure that must be. It seems to me the more valuable lesson would be in admitting that nobody knows everything but that it's worthwhile to take the time to find the answer. These small "harmless" fibs to satisfy the child's curiosity seem designed only to suit the laziness convenience of the adult.

Anyways, I'm rambling. When I started this post, I thought it would end up a lot more coherent. But then, I usually think that. And we all know how that turns out...

Disgracebook

Recently, my mother signed up for Facebook. She started by choosing the most unflattering photo she could find as her profile image. It's like a scowling snarling mug shot. SO fitting. Next, she friended all of the people from her local church community. Then she started playing Farmville. Which I have on ignore.

me: my mother just emailed me to ask if i'm farmville on facebook
me: and i'm like - no, i don't play games on facebook
KarmaChameleon: o.O
me: "then what do you use it for?"
me: umm, stalking ex-boyfriends
me: DUH
KarmaChameleon: lmao

Other than Farmville and church friends, all she seems to do is comment on Joe's status. Not even my status. Just his.

Joe asked why she never updates her own status. I told him that all of the people she's friends with already know her status - it's called going to church for some reason every day and then everyone there is so in everyone's business that there's no need for Facebook.

It's all kinda creepy. I think some people shouldn't be allowed on Facebook. Pick a deity of choice and offer up a prayer or small offering if she ever gets a blog or Twitter account.

Six Word Saturday

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does each week with their entries.

How can it be over already?

All that's necessary to participate is to post your own six words. You can post an explanation if you wish but it's certainly not required. If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!) but I'm not going to delete your entry or punch you in the face if you don't. Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

<a href="http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS"><img src="http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp35/showmyface/guts/6wsButton.jpg" /></a>

Note: Please be careful to make sure you've linked to the right post. I've had a lot of links to non-Six Word Saturday blogs lately. Just trying to cut down on the confusion. Also, if you want to link directly to the 6WS post, that's super-helpful as well. Thanks!

A Typical Cate-mas

Since I figure most everyone else is out and about doing their holiday* things, I'm just going to give you a quick peek into a typical Christmas at the House o' Cate.

First, we sleep in. Which for me might mean all of 8am this year if I'm lucky. Then we shower, dress, hair and make-up (for me, Joe's beauty is more au naturel), and then head downstairs.

Next, time for special Christmas breakfast. I consider this part of my gift to Joe because I'm not a huge eater of the breakfast but he absolutely loves it. This year, we'll be having Cranberry French Toast with Cranberry Syrup. Also, coffee and turkey bacon.

Then, finally it will be time for gifts. It could be as late as 11am by now. Which also is about the time my parents will call. At this point they've been up for hours, opened all of their gifts, had breakfast, and they're within an hour or so of putting their big Christmas meal on the table. Me, I haven't even opened their gifts yet. Sorry, I'll call back later!

NOW we'll open our gifts. We take our time, one for Joe, one for me. Sometimes, one for kitties. This year, they have four gifts: a bag of fishy treats, a ball with a feathery thing in it, a scratchy mat, and a solar-powered crystal that spins in the window when the sun shines on it which is really more for me but sometimes the cats also like to chase it. We also spend a lot of time throwing bows and ribbons and papers at the cats.

Later, we throw dinner in the oven. Today, prime rib roast w/ red wine gravy, mashed potatoes, rolls, yams, deviled eggs, and my French onion soup. Yeah, for two people. For dessert, Joe picked out eggnog cupcakes which Beth cursed just because she doesn't like eggnog so while they're tasty, the frosting never really stiffened up.

Eventually we resort to getting the cats high on catnip while we drink too much wine or bourbon or whatever else is around before falling asleep midway through a movie.

Isn't Christmas exciting with no children and a family who lives not nearly far enough far away?

I hope you all have a fabulous December 25th, whatever it is you are doing.




*I'm so politically correct I could totally barf all over my "registered independent" voter registration.