Sorry, Not Sorry

Sorry for missing Six Word Saturday this past weekend.

It's not the only thing I missed last week. The election here in the States really blew my mind and I let it take over so many hours.

Thankfully, I had company this weekend, including a toddler I adore. She was a beautiful distraction and reminder that we can do better, that we MUST do better.

This week, back to work. Be good to each other and I'll see you Saturday morning.

The gift of obligation

First, we'll address the elephant in the room.

Hello, Elephant. Thanks for joining us. On a weekday. And I'm blogging. I realize that's odd. In fact, it hasn't happened since September. Once every six months isn't bad, right? But I'm glad you were able to join us for this special occasion.

Ok, can we move on now? I'd like to have a discussion.

My question is one of gracious gift receiving and obligation.

My birthday is at a time in the semi-future and a family member has sent me a cash gift. This isn't a family member I'm particularly close to in terms of relationship, though the branches on the family tree would indicate otherwise. (I suppose that applies to most of my family.) I say this mainly to indicate that this person is old-school and doesn't send the gift so much because they adore me but because in their day and age (they're older), their social norm dictates that this is the proper amount to send for a gift for me on this occasion. Not to say that I'm not thankful to receive the gift because he isn't required to give me anything and many don't.

His expectation is that I use the gift to buy a fancy dinner for me and my husband (the gift giver emphasizes fancy). It's not a big enough amount to do that - but it is enough that I could spend an afternoon lost in a used bookstore or shopping for myself or doing something else I would rarely do but really enjoy.

So the options are:

1. Go somewhere "eh" for a meal with my husband that the gift will pay in full.
2. Put the gift towards a fancy dinner, make up the difference ourselves (we can afford this, it wouldn't be a burden).
3. Spend the gift entirely on me in some indulgent way that would bring me great joy. 

Which would you choose? I just thought it might be interesting to hear how some of you might handle it. Truthfully, I can say "thank you" and he'll never know the difference. But I'm curious how you feel about gifts like this.

I know as a gift-giver, I may have an idea in mind of how someone would use a gift when I give them cash and I might make a suggestion ("I thought you might want to buy some more craft supplies but know you like a couple of local shops" or "Maybe you'd like to buy a new game for Collin."). But ultimately, it's up to them to decide how they want to spend a cash gift. If I feel so strongly about them spending it somewhere specific, I make sure I buy a gift card to a specific merchant. Otherwise, all bets are off.

Let's chat in the comments!

Choosing a path when at a crossroads: A sort of goodbye

This past Saturday's Six Words were about feeling that I'm at a crossroads. As most six word entries tend to be (unless you include further explanation), it's a bit cryptic. But I'm always amazed when one of the comments manages to say something that really resonates without having the slightest idea what's going on in my brain. Especially since I so seldom have any clue what's going on in my brain.

Though many sincerely wished me luck or peace or wisdom, Tonya said "Cate when I am in this kind of a situation I try to remember that even if I take the wrong road, I am moving forward. Good luck!"

I've had a real issue with moving forward. Moreso, I've had an issue with letting go. I have some fabulous new projects I want to work on but it's hard for me to let go of the obligations I feel to old projects. Even if I'm no longer passionate about them. 

Like this blog at the moment. Look how long it's been since I blogged regularly here. But there was a time when this blog was my main outlet, my main saving grace. A lot has changed since that first post back in 2008. I still deal with anxiety and insecurity and family crap that I can't spout off about under my real name. But I've made some amazing friends over the past five years and I've also come up with some amazing coping mechanisms in that time. I've accepted who I am and found others who accept me for that as well.

In short, I've grown. I'm not the same person I was when I started this blog. Which is a very good thing. This blog is an action I took back then when I was at a crossroads. 

Now I'm at another crossroads. Where will the next action take me? I don't know but it's time to find out. It's time, as Tonya said, to move forward. 

This isn't "goodbye" - it's "indefinite pause" on weekday posts. No different from how it has been but more formal so I can take it off my to-do list and quit beating myself up about not writing here. I'm officially letting myself off the hook. I've paused before but this feels different somehow. A little bit like leaving your childhood home and heading out for college. Like I might be back, but I don't think it will feel the same.

I'm going to leave the light on, just in case.

P.S. Six Word Saturday, of course, will continue each week.