Separate checks?

After grabbing burgers at Jack Astor's, Joe was eating leftover fries off my plate when our waitress approached.

Waitress: Will that be separate checks this evening?
me (in-my-head): Yes, two checks, and please charge this jerkface for half my fries!
Joe (for-realz, while giving me the look): Just one check will be fine, thanks.

Why would the waitress assume a man and woman out for dinner, just the two of them, would want separate checks? Did I somehow look unworthy of my husband?

Maybe if it was lunch during the week and we were in business attire. But a man and a woman on a Saturday night? Yes, there are situations which may warrant separate checks. Dating but going dutch would be one. Friends dining together would be another. Isn't it far more likely though that the pair are a couple of some sort? Even if it's a date, last time I checked the man usually ponies up the cash. Otherwise, he's severely handicapping his chances of getting any.

PS: After all that, my husband left her a huge tip. "What, she's quite pregnant, in case you didn't notice. She's serving for two!"

Which, I think, is absolutely brilliant. Pad your tummy, pad your tips. I bet everyone tips the pregnant lady generously. If I ever take a job as a waitress, I'm totally getting a fake baby belly.

Endangered species

I was excited to tell my friend, SomeMonkey, about a recent meal I had with Joe at a seafood restaurant:

me: did you know you can eat dolphin?
i thought it was illegal for some reason
SomeMonkey: did you know there is a fish called "dolphin"?
me: ooooooooooooh
i bet that's it!

She's pretty smart for a monkey.

Who am I?

I'm not feeling very original today but thought I could introduce myself by way of survey. Really, I'm not a big fan of this kind of thing so you won't be seeing much of it here. Just trying to fill in a few of the blanks about who I am, in case anyone cares.

Name: you can call me Cate
Birthday: 3/26
Birthplace: the North
Current Location: the South
Eye Color: brown like a cow
Hair Color: brown like a chocolate lab
Height: 5'4"
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: diverse but mostly western European
The Shoes You Wore Today: red patent leather kitten heels
Your Weakness In Men: brains and wit
Your Fears: spiders, car flags, death
Pet peeves: ignorance and getting my name wrong
Your Perfect Pizza: banana peppers
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: world peace and global celebrity
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Beats the alternative"
Your Best Physical Feature: elbows
Your Bedtime: quarter past boredom
Pepsi or Coke: Pinot Noir
McDonalds or Burger King: Hardees or Bojangles
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee
Do you Smoke: no
Do you Swear: more than I like to admit
Do you Sing: only in the car and shower
Have you Been in Love: several times
Do you want to go to College: already did
Do you want to get Married: already did
Do you believe in yourself: I totally exist, just like the Easter bunny and armadillos
Do you get Motion Sickness: yes
Do you think you are Attractive: on a good day
Are you a Health Freak: I run and try to eat healthy
Do you get along with your Parents: there's a reason we live 600 miles apart
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: guitar, piano
Ever been called a Tease: maybe...
How do you want to Die: old
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: happy
What country would you most like to Visit: as many as possible
Number of things in my Past I Regret: none, they've all made me who I am (though maybe the jalapenos just before bed last Tuesday)

On (Not) Writing

A year ago, I wanted to be a writer. No idea what that meant, but that was the plan. Move from my current job into marketing? Copy editing? Maybe a job at a newspaper or magazine? I took classes, wrote my heart out for NaNoWriMo, read books about writing, and scribbled fabulous notes full of story ideas and characters and scenes.

Ready to put my plan into action, I slaved away for months developing a brilliant project that would meld my love of the interwebz with creative writing. Many hours were spent devising the technical approach and brainstorming the story idea. With my plan of attack thoroughly developed, I enlisted the help of a writer-friend and a coder-friend to make magic happen. My mama (ok, someone's mama, probably not mine) always told me that if you put in the time and effort and believe, you can do anything! And I had faith that this was going to be ground-breaking and life-changing.

Instead, it failed abysmally. We did everything right. Advertised, linked, posted on related sites. People responded and visited the site! But they did not stay. Or they did not return. Or they did not discuss, which was necessary for the project to succeed. And so rather than contemplating sequels, I was left wondering where it all went wrong.

That was summer of 2007. I completed NaNoWriMo again that November and haven't written a thing since other than a stray blog entry here or there (which I don't consider 'writing' based on the type of effort/content).

I don't think I'll do NaNoWriMo again this year. I'm uninspired. I thought about taking another class and that didn't pique my interest either. Instead, I'll just blog away and see if I can relocate my elusive muse. She must be hiding around here somewhere...

Disappointment

Main Entry: dis·ap·point·ment
Pronunciation: \ˌdis-ə-ˈpȯint-mənt\
Function: noun

oatmeal raisin when you were expecting chocolate chip