The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Last weekend, my parents came for a visit. I've been trying to recover from process it since then.

First, The Good:

It was nice that they made it a point to visit. This is Dad's busy time of year for his business so for him to let someone else run the shop over the weekend because it was a priority to visit was a nice thing. I think it was "one last visit" before we potentially move, not that there's any progress to report on the job situation.

The Bad:

Dad started feeling sick not long after they started to long drive to our place. His throat was bothering him so he could barely talk, which makes it hard to visit. Also, I could tell he just wasn't feeling well.

And, finally, The Ugly:

The close-mindedness and paranoia exhibited by my family makes me sad. No, sick to my stomach. No, it makes me angry.

My mother asked if my FIL is stuck doing a lot of yardwork at the house he rents. I explained that his neighbors help him a lot and that he had me take them a gift basket he had won to say thank you. I said I felt kinda weird taking it to them when it had been obviously opened, but he had wanted to take out the wine because "they're good Christian people."

me: I just thought that was odd. Not all Christians have an issue with alcohol. Plus, FIL is a Catholic and Catholics definitely aren't -"
my mother: Christians.
me: I was going to go with "aren't strictly anti-alcohol."
my mother: Oh. That too.

Because, as my mother has told me for years, she believes that Catholics aren't really Christians. In her opinion esteemed fact-based all-knowingness, ALL Catholics are only about tradition and going through the motions. And yes, she believes that all Catholics are going to hell because they're doing it wrong.

Seriously.

The Uglier:

my mother: I'd like to get the spare room cleaned up and a bed in there so you can stay with us when your grandmother dies.

Reasons this is ugly? Let me count the ways.

1. It's my father's mother, and she said this in front of him.
2. My mother hates my father's mother and has forbidden him from having any contact with her.
3. My grandmother is 81 but she is not sick in some way that indicates her death will be any time soon.

The Ugliest:

my mother: Homosexuals and pedophiles are the same thing. They both choose amoral alternative lifestyles.
me: You don't see a difference between two consenting adults and an adult preying on a minor?
my mother: Same thing. Both going to hell.
me: I see a huge difference.

Jaw dropped. No words. Part of me feels like it's good to remember that this kind of attitude exists in the world and that we need to keep fighting against it. Part of me wants to cry to see it displayed by my own parents. I've tried so hard to overcome the ignorance I grew up with but it's so jarring to be reminded that it's still happening.

And so, with all of that, I now report that (long story omitted and this is already too long) we will likely be leaving next Friday, the 28th, for a visit home. Mostly so Joe can see help his Dad prepare for winter. I'm not even recovered from their visit here and now we're going to go visit there.

I plan to focus on my sister, niece, and nephew. I plan to focus on staying with a couple of dear friends.

I plan to refill my xanax prescription.