Dramatic Ending

I think everything in life should have a dramatic ending. Like a pointy-pose, or jazz hands, or a withering (fake) death. Or firetrucks!

Yesterday, I went to the gym for the first time since before starting physical therapy for my back. I started with the treadmill, then my PT exercises as adapted for the fancy gym machines, then some time on the elliptical. For my big ending, I decided to do another 15 minutes of walking on the treadmill.

Just as I set up the treadmill, there were blinky lights and sirens around the workout room. It's possible I've been watching too much Let's Make a Deal because my first thought was that someone had won something. Oooh, maybe *I* had won something for having such a great first workout back! I popped off my headphones and waited for someone to come my way with a big check and balloons, only to hear the PA system announce that this was an emergency and everyone needed to calmly proceed to the nearest exit immediately.

(A quick note - aren't "calmly" and "immediately" a bit contradictory? Yeah, I thought so too.)

I stood outside for a bit before the manager told us that firetrucks were on the way and we could not re-enter the building until they had arrived and cleared it.

At that point, I figured firetrucks were a perfect dramatic ending for my first workout back at the gym, so I hopped in my car to head home. And as I pulled to the curb while the firetruck came blasting through from the other direction, I may have even done some jazz hands.

Six Word Saturday

One door closes, another one opens?

AKA the "big news" we waited and waited for fell through.  Now we wait for the next opportunity.  I'm talking about jobs, people.  Not babies.

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Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).

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Meditation for Moi

As I continue to search for ways to deal with anxiety and bad dreams, I find myself often turning to meditation. Granted, I'm sure I'm doing it wrong if you look it up in some "how-to" guide. But I say I'm doing it right because it achieves my desired end result of feeling centered and calm. SomeMonkey recently did a search on meditation and found some video that tried to make her breathe out of this nostril and then that nostril. That's way too complicated for me. Not to mention a nightmare this time of year with sinus issues.

Here's how I meditate. I sit somewhere quiet. I don't do any kind of crazy pose - I just sit comfortably, usually with my back braced against a wall or the side of the bed. With my eyes closed, I breathe in slowly, I breathe out slowly. Sometimes I count. Sometimes I think "happiness in, anxiety out, health in, headache out." Whatever seems fitting at the moment.

I got that last bit from a book or a blog post or some other place I can't remember at the moment. The idea is that we're all part of the universe, therefor the universe has what we needs. So breathe in what you want, out what you don't want. This was great until I thought to myself what a jackass I must be to be putting my anxiety and pain into the universe. Like it doesn't already have enough without me adding to it? Once my train of thought goes there, it usually ruins the meditation.

In the past, I've used a meditation podcast I found for free on iTunes. It was called (wait for it!) "The Meditation Podcast". I'll give you a moment to recover from the shock. I think when they started, they intended for this to be an on-going podcast but they ended around 10 episodes. Each episode featured guided meditation focused on fear, pain, etc.

One podcast I particularly liked was meant to lead you to a deep, restful sleep. It started with steady breathing and then started progressing your thoughts through colors. Bright hot colors like red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black... By the time the guiding voices hit black, you are completely zonked out. Problem? The same podcast then leads you back up through the colors to a state of being awake. Which would be awesome if there was a whole lot of dead space in the middle. But no. It's like a 10 minute sleep at best. Kinda defeats the purpose, no?

Anyways, meditation. It seems to work for me and it doesn't take long. The challenge is keeping the husband and the kitties quiet for five minutes so I can effectively relax. Really, it's in their own best interest because it's probably their fault I want to punch someone in the face. With the funk I've been in recently, I should remember to meditate more often. It makes the world safer for everyone.

Day #1 of Blogging with Discipline

You can probably tell because it's so late in the day that this new daily blogging thing isn't going so well. I had planned to write last night, after I finished my second session of PT for the day. However, a freak resistance band accident meant going to bed earlier than anticipated. You know how much it hurts when you're snapped with a rubber band? Imagine a 4 ft rubber band. And it snaps you right in the forehead. You'd cry and go to bed early too!

This morning, I had my PT appointment and she feels I've improved enough to start using weight machines. That's good, right? Except since I practically knocked myself unconscious using a resistance band last night, I'm not sure how brilliant it is to let me work on heavy machinery.

So this weekend, I'll start a new routine that involves daily trips to the gym for PT and some cardio. It might help me add a bit more structure to my day. It might help with the blogging. It might result in permanent injury and/or disfigurement. Stay tuned?

Discipline & Happiness

Way back in the day, I was following C. Beth's lead and blogging with discipline. The idea was that by blogging every day, it keeps your brain writing skills from growing rusty. The consistent practice was often very rewarding.

Then, life grew super busy. I decided to let myself off the hook and instead embrace "blogging without obligation". A tremendous amount of pressure lifted as I gave myself Sunday off. And then I scaled back to a few days a week. Lately? I'm struggling to puke up even one post a week.

In part, it's because I'm going through a bit of depression. Part of this is seasonal. Part of it is related to a sad anniversary (not a wedding anniversary). This year, it's compounded by physical pain (though my back is improving), lack of direction, and stress related to my husband's job search.

Recently, I've come to believe that a lot of my ability to be happy comes from my decision to BE happy. That's been a struggle lately. Also, I believe that our attitude can very much influence the attitudes of those around us. Ever notice how you may wake up in a bad mood but you find yourself surrounded by happy people in the office and suddenly you don't feel so glum anymore? The opposite also seems to hold true. I don't want to be the person that brings others down.

All of which is a long rambling way of saying two things:

1. I am going to double my efforts to choose positivity
2. I am going to blog with discipline for a bit to get past this creative slump

I expect I'll post some entries that aren't very good but blogging has brought me great pleasure in the past and I'm hoping that by committing myself to it, blogging can help bring me some happiness in the (very near) future.

Cheers, mates. Let's bring back the awesome!